Gilligan quotes from Gilligan's Island

Professor

[hears the radio] Wait a minute! Quiet! The announcement, quiet! Quiet!

And now they are activating the robot's receptor spools to see if they can find out how it got to Hawaii. The next voice you hear will be that of the robot.

[mechanically] I have been on a deserted island. The putt breaks to the right.

Well, it was a lucky shot!

[mechanically] Sweep back and forth, back and forth. I was stranded. This is the way we wash our clothes.

Ladies and gentlemen, the scientists from the laboratory are checking to see exactly what went wrong. Perhaps now we can learn the reason the recorded messages are all scrambled... A WHAT?... Ladies and gentlemen, believe it or not, a RABBIT'S FOOT was just found in the robot!

It demagnetized the entire receptor spools. There is now no chance of finding out where the robot has been, who reprogrammed it, or how it got to Hawaii. For that matter, how the rabbit's foot got in there in the first place!

GILLIGAN?

Gilligan

I just thought it'd bring us some luck, ya know?

Mary Ann

Where's Gilligan?

Ginger

We forgot about Gilligan.

Skipper

Oh, the last time I saw Gilligan, he was collecting feathers for some ridiculous idea that he had.

Mary Ann

Skipper, look.

Skipper

Gilligan, come down here right now.

Gilligan

Skipper, I've been watching the birds fly. It's real easy.

Skipper

Gilligan, come down here right now.

Gilligan

Okay, here I come.

Skipper

Gilligan, you can't fly. It's impossible.

Gilligan

I can't?

Skipper

No!

Gilligan

Oh. Mmm.

Skipper

Gilligan! Gilligan, little buddy! Are you all right?

Gilligan

Why did you have to say that? Impossible? Why did you have to say that?

Gilligan

And another thing, the Skipper told me to tell everybody else, including you, to bring your, um, bare essentials.

Ginger

We'd be happy to.

Mary Ann

Me too.

Gilligan

Oh, okay. I'll keep my eyes closed.

Gilligan

Skipper... I know we've been shipwrecked a long time, but doesn't a dog go woof woof?

Skipper

[Nervously] I-I think so...

Skipper

Nice dog... uh cat.

Skipper

[the Skipper is greeting the wedding party, and Gilligan is best man] Ah... The best man.

Gilligan

At least I'm best man at something.

Skipper

Gilligan, you couldn't be best man in an all girls school.

Professor

Now gentlemen, on the one hand there may be nothing to worry about.

Gilligan

Good!

Professor

But on the other hand...

Gilligan

I knew it, it's always the other hand that gets in trouble!

" I have one regret. that I won't live to be one hundred years old."

"Oh, but you will dear. You' be that on Saturday."

Professor

We've been all over this island and were not even sure Lord Beasley has even seen a Pussycat Swallowtail.

Gilligan

Where else can he afford to look?

Good heavens!

Ginger

Looking for a butterfly under the water?

That's what I call a determined man.

Skipper

That's what I call a determined nut!

Skipper

You and your big mouth! [after Gilligan remarks that the only place Beasley hasn't searched the mountain, and Beasley forces them to climb it]

Gilligan

Skipper, it's against the law to lock somebody up without telling them what they did.

Skipper

[smiles] Just a moment, Gilligan. [humming] Let's see here. Is that it? Yeah. It says here in the Criminal Law, Section 7, Paragraph 14, "Let it be known that any man who interferes with or causes in any way a rescue to be fouled up, goes to jail for as long as the Skipper says."

Gilligan

There's no such law.

Skipper

There is now!