Can a day go by when you don't say that?
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
You already ruin your kids by coddling them. George was always very independent. He was crossing the street by himself when he was 2.
I was looking for food!
I don't care what Angie says. I don't think Max is ready to walk to school until he learns about the real world.
I'll tell you what I did when you were a kid. I used to read the newspaper to you right before bed. Remember the Zodiac Killer? You'd say, "He's not coming here, is he Mommy?" And then I'd look at the paper and tell you, "It doesn't say..."
Yeah, I remember. No Green Eggs in Ham, no Cat in the Hat, just, "Nut kills 12", night night!
Okay, you can laugh, but it worked!
Alright, this movie might be a little mature for you, but I think it's more important that you learn that not everyone out there is a nice person.
What's the movie?
Texas Chainsaw Massacre. I queued it up to the educational part.
Texas Chainsaw Massacre? Are you insane?
Not compared to them. Angie, this is how kids learn, they watch scary stuff, they'll get nightmares, they'll learn to be careful!
Where is the water and shelter for this animal?
HMHomeless Man
It's in my vacation box at the beach.
But they're mean to Toby and Toby is your best friend.
But she won't be there!
Oh, see that only makes sense because you're using teenager logic. It's the same kind of logic that gets your kind killed in horror films.
[George and Angie talk to Carmen]
Look, honey, I know what you're going through. There was a time when I had to choose between the popular crowd and a sweet pudgy kid eating all by himself.
Who was that?
You don't know him.
[George straightens up]
By the way, you didn't pick the pudgy kid. Pudgy kid picked you.
WMrs. Wilder
Mr. and Mrs. Lopez, thank you for coming down. Let me start by saying Max is a joy to have in class.
He's a joy at home.
You know, and he likes you too. He draws all his favorite people in hell.
WMrs. Wilder
Good! Look, Max is having real problems with his reading. Have you seen his centipede?
...I don't know what that's gotta do with reading, but in our house we call that a "weenus."
You know, kids need to be kept busy, or sooner or later they get into trouble. There's a report out that says that most underage sex, drinking, and hooliganism happens between 3:00 and 6:00 PM.
Hooliganism? How old is that report?
Hey, what are you doing?
Well, I'm still trying to find my dad. So I'm gonna run an ad in all the newspapers up in Northern California. What do you think? "I lost my father as a boy, mother told me he was dead. Found out he's alive, am now seeking to re-unite with him. Manny Lopez, 5'10", latino male, mid-50's. Will pay for any information leading to contact.
Hey, take a little advice from somebody who's written more than his fair share of personal ads. They charge you by the word. You can say the same thing with a lot less.
Ernie [crossing out words in George's ad]: Just get rid of this, this, this, this, this, this, and this. Now read it to me.
"Boy seeking latino male. Will pay for contact."
Well, at least it grabs you.
Yeah, but where?
[Debbie knocks on the door at George's house]
Angie [waving at Debbie]: Oh no, that's Debbie Mickens with the PTA coming to collect the money.
"Collect the money"? What is she, the mob?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's George Lopez pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.