Rachel and Monica in “The One with the Sharks”

[Rachel's cell phone rings] Hello?

Hey, Rach, it's me. Okay, I just got to Chandler's room, and I caught him... molesting himself.

Ohh... that couldn't have been pretty. But you know? Guys do that.

Yeah? Uh, well, the weird part is... he was getting off... to a shark attack show!

[gasp] No!

Yes! Chandler watches shark porn!