TV show quotes
[Freakazoid is at a recent crime scene committed by Cobra Queen. He notices a piece of shedding from one of her snakes.]
Ah-ha, looks like one of Cobra Queen's little pets. [turns to the officers, and says this with poor lip sync] Or maybe it was a tourist who got too much sun, I'm never sure.
[Flips to blue screen with only Freakazoid showing]
Please, let's watch the lip sync, okay?
[A giant set of lips sinks into the ocean]
I thank you.
I'm not going down there. It smells like poo-gas!
If it isn't my dear friend, Atomic Boy.
Freakazoid. I'm Freakazoid.
Oh! I'm so terribly sorry, Freakazoid. The light is dreadful down here.
Nah, forget it Cobra Queen. You know, you should really get some of those Japanese lanterns to brighten up the place.
The paper ones? Are they expensive?
Y'know, I like jousting so much I wish I could marry it.
[finds a small bowl hidden behind a torch] A bowl! I found a bowl! GOOD FOR ME!
[grumbling about Guitierrez] He's such a weenie.
[shouting dramatically] I am not a weenie! YOU ARE THE WEENIE!
Ever since Guitierrez entered the net, he's been busy setting up some sort of deranged trap for you. When I tried to see what it was, he found me and kicked me out. He's amazingly powerful!
If it's a trap, why do you want me to go in?
You don't have a choice, lad. The reason you're so weak is that Guitierrez sabotaged the energy field that powers ya here on the outside. If you didn't go in, another hour or so, you'd be no better than a dried-up piece of fleshy haggis. Oh, he's figured it all out! He's baiting ya, lad. He's made sure you've got no choice but to go in after him. He means to destroy ya.
Boy, you've got a lot of lines in this show.
AYE! THAT'S WHAT I TOLD THEM! BUT, NO! ALL THE CRUDDY EXPOSITION GOES TO ME! I'VE GOT TO TALK AND TALK AND FIDDLE WITH THE COMPUTER AND TALK SOME MORE AND FIDDLE AND TALK, I FEEL LIKE OBI-WAN CRUDDY KENOBI!
Roddy, settle.
Alright, we're ready.
Aren't you coming?
Nay, Guitierrez has locked me out. He want's you... alone. THERE! THAT'S THE LAST OF THE CRUDDY EXPOSITION! THANK YOU VERY MUCH!
(an audience applaudes)
[waving goodbye to Dexter from the car] Have a good time, now!
Don't touch that dial. For the next 40 minutes, I'm in control.
[The Lobe is watching Seinfeld)
C'mon, Kramer, give me the donut!
Never!
[laughs] The whole key to this show is Newman.
Now, with just a flick of the switch, my video-zapper will steal every movie, every program, every broadcast ever produced! Not only will I be able to flood the market with counterfeit cassettes - thus crippling the entertainment industry - but I'll never have to program my VCR again!
[Freakazoid breaks into a room to stop the Lobe - destroying a wall full of TV monitors in the process]
Hello? Lobe? Is this the right room?
Freakazoid! Look what you've done!
Sorry. I'm in a hurry.
There's a door not ten feet away. A fine invention. You should try it.
Aawww! What's the matter? Am I ruining your date?
Duncan! Mind your apples, huh!
FREAK IN! [while shifting back into Dexter, he still is Freakazoid] Uh-oh. [he then comes out of the stall as Oprah Winfrey)I think we have a problem here. ZOIDS! I LOOK LIKE OPRAH WINFREY! OH, FREAK OUT! Okay, let's not PANIC! Let me try it again. FREAK IN! [turns to Dexter] Yes! [shifting in as David Letterman] David Letterman?! Oh, FREAK OUT!
Come, she awaits. [While passing every pillar in the restaurant, Dexter changes into Michael Jackson, Barney the Dinosaur, and The Skipper from Gilligan's Island]
I have your date.
That's not my date.
Well, of course he is? [gasps] "Skipper" Alan Hale!
Oh, no. [in Alan Hale's voice] GOODBYE, LIL' BUDDIES!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Freakazoid! pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
