[just before being blown up] I feel so used...
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
AAnnouncer
We interrupt our regularly scheduled program to bring you this special report from The WB Network.
What exactly is The WB? Can someone tell me this? What's it mean, The WB? The Water Bucket? The Wimpy Boy? The Wet Bananas?! I don't know! What, the Weird Butt?! What? I'm asking!
AAnnouncer
This has been a special report from The Weird Butt Network. We now join Freakazoid! already in progress.
[talking to his mother-in-law] Most people your age die. Why won't you?
Now, now, ladies, there's plenty of me for everybody - if not, I'll just have 'em draw me bigger.
AAlien
I have traveled many millions of lightyears across forty billion galaxies to come here for the answer to a vital question that concerns the entire universe.
BCBill Clinton
And what is that question?
AAlien
Please tell us - that doll Barbie... what's the name of her little sister?
[Freakazoid and Clinton look at each other, puzzled]
BCBill Clinton
I think it was Pebbles.
Lemme handle this. It's Skipper!
AAlien
Skipper? Hmmm. [walks back inside his ship] Hey everyone, it's Skipper!
I said, give me another one. Curse your tiny paper hat!
If I wanna blitz myself into some papaya-induced hallucination that's MY business!
I've studied everything about you! Like you like to drown your sorrows in papaya juice whenever you lose a sidekick!
That's because I'm allergic to cranapple!
[pan shot of the Freaka-lair]
Where are we?
My Freaka-lair!
I didn't know you had one!
Yeah, we're trying a bunch of new stuff this week. Tryin' to see what sticks.
Alright, kid. You wanna be my new side kick? You've gotta pass the initiation test.
Challenge me!
Mr. Cameraguy, zip pan to the next scene!
[Zip pan to a scene with two people standing with windmills in the background]
NO! THE OTHER SCENE! AM I WORKING ALONE HERE?!
Please! Please leave me alone! I'll give you anything, anything you want if you'll just go away! How about the just written script of Batman IV?
Plucked it off the Internet last night.
An autographed photo of Stan Lee?
Who's that?
No idea.
Marrrrrrkk...... Hamillllll...
Why settle for a mere sidekick, when Jedi Knighthood awaits?
Yes! The Force is strong in this one!
[slowly approaching Mark Hamill]
Luke! Join me!
MHMark Hamill
Come again?
Join me, and together we can rule the galaxy as Fan Boy and son!
MHMark Hamill
No! I'll never join you!
It is your destiny!
RRathgar
Your willingness to change has so impressed me that I will affect a different curse.
YQYoung Quist
Can you make slow, overweight birds appear out of thin air?
RRathgar
Yes. But, I won't.
Leonard Nimoy, Leonard Nimoy
Dear Mister Spock, oh golly gee boy
It sure would make me smile and laugh
If I could have your autograph
If I don't get it, I'll be blue
But then I know what I will do
I'll call you up on the telephone
And bother you when you're at home
You hang up, the line goes dead
But then a new idea pops in my head
I'll visit you right where you live
I'll ring on the doorbell and ask if you'll give
That autograph I've been waiting for
You give it to me, and so much more
(BOOM!)
Oh thank you, thank you, Mister Spock
Now please call Bones; I need a doc.
NNarrator
Freakazoid, in stereo where available. And where not available, it's not in stereo. There's nothing we can do about that so don't blame us. We have no control over it. Call your cable company if there's some sort of a problem or the local broadcaster. But if they're not giving you stereo and you want stereo, that's your problem. Not ours. Don't bug us. Complain to your congressman or Newt Gingrich! Like I'm sure he'd care! Ha! But we don't want to get any letters. Understand? Good!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Freakazoid! pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.