Firefly quotes

Wash

Don't fall asleep now. Sleepiness is weakness of character, ask anyone.

Zoe

It is not!

Wash

You're acting Captain. You know what happens, you fall asleep?

Zoe

Jayne slits my throat and takes over?

Wash

That's right.

Zoe

And we can't stop it?

Wash

I wash my hands of it. Hopeless case. I'll read a nice poem at the funeral. Something with imagery.

Zoe

You could lock the door. Keep the power-hungry maniac at bay.

Wash

Don't know. I'm starting to like this poetry thing. "Here lies my beloved Zoe, my autumn flower... somewhat less attractive now that she's all corpsified and gross—" [Zoe hits him with a pillow]

I know him. And I think he's a psychotic low-life.

Mal

And I think calling him that is an insult to the psychotic low-life community.

Kaylee

Don't you just love this party? Everything's so fancy and they have some kind of hot cheese over there!

It's not as good as last year.

Kaylee

Oh really? What's they have last year?

Standards.

Mal

And I never back down from a fight.

Inara

Yes, you do! You do all the time!

Mal

Well... yeah, but I'm not backing down from this one!

Inara

You don't need strength as much as speed. We're fragile creatures. It takes less than a pound of pressure to cut skin.

Mal

You know that? They teach you that in whore academy?

Inara

You have a strange sense of nobility, Captain. You'll lay a man out for implying I'm a whore, but you keep calling me one to my face.

Mal

I might not show respect to your job, but he didn't respect you. That's the difference. Inara, he doesn't even see you.

Inara

Well, I guess death will solve the issue to everyone's satisfaction.

Badger

Who's that, then? Here, look at me. What's your story, love?

Simon

She's just a... just a passenger.

Badger

Yeah? Why ain't she talkin'? Got a secret?

Simon

No, I'm—

River

[suddenly speaking in Badger's own Cockney accent] Sure. I got a secret. More'n one. Don't seem like I'd tell 'em to you, now, do it? Anyone off Dyton colony knows better'n to talk to strangers. [pokes Badger in the chest] You're talkin' loud enough for the both of us, ain't ya? I've met a dozen like you. Skipped off home early. Minor grift jobs here and there. Spent some time in the lockdown, but less than you claim. And you're what? A petty thief with delusions o' standing? Sad little king of a sad little hill.

Badger

Nice to see someone from the old homestead.

River

Not really. [to Simon] Call me if anyone interesting shows up. [Leaves]

Badger

[grinning] I like her.

Inara

You're always breaking the rules, no matter which society you're in! You don't get along with ordinary criminals either, which is why you're constantly getting in trouble!

Mal

You think following the rules will buy you a nice life, even if the rules make you a slave.

You have to finish it, lad. [Mal doesn't move] You have to finish it. For a man to lay beaten, yet breathing? It makes him a coward.

Inara

It's humiliation.

Mal

It would be humiliating, having to lie there while the better man refuses to spill your blood. Mercy is the mark of a great man.

Mal

Guess I'm just a good man.

Mal

Well, I'm all right.

Inara

Are you in pain?

Mal

Absolutely. I got stabbed, you know, right here. [shows bandaged wound in his side]

Inara

[squeamishly] Eh— I saw.

Mal

Don't care much for fancy parties. Too rough.

Inara

It wasn't entirely a disaster.

Mal

I got stabbed! Right here!

Inara

You also lined up exciting new crime.

Mal

Don't take his offer.

Inara

What?

Mal

Don't do it. 'Cause in the case that it happens, that means he's a fella who killed me, and I don't like fellas who kill me, not in general. I said before I don't have call to stop you, and that's true. Anyways, don't.

Young River

We got outflanked by the Independent squad, and we're never gonna make it back to our platoon. [pauses] We need to resort to cannibalism.

Young Simon

That was fast. Don't we have rations or anything?

Young River

That's wrong.

Young Simon

It's from the book, River.

Young River

No, the book is wrong. This whole conclusion is fallacious.

Gabriel Tam

I will not have it in my house. But, since your mother's already ordered you one, I guess I should give up the fantasy that this is my house!

Mal

So, she's added cussing and hurling-about of things to her repertoire. She really is a prodigy.

Simon

It's just a bad day.

Mal

No, a "bad day" is when someone's yellin' spooks the cattle. Understand? You ever see cattle stampede when they got no place to run? It's kind of like a… a meat grinder. And it'll lose us half the herd.

Simon

She hasn't gone anywhere near the cattle.

Mal

No, but in case you hadn't noticed, her voice kinda carries. We're two miles above ground and they can probably hear her down there. Soon as we unload, she can holler until our ears bleed—although I would take it as a kindness if she didn't.

River

The human body can be drained of blood in 8.6 seconds given adequate vacuuming systems.

Mal

See, morbid and creepifying, I got no problem with, long as she does it quiet-like.

Jayne

About time you broke in them fancy shoes. Hyah! Get along!

Mal

You know, they walk just as easy if you lead 'em.

Jayne

I like smackin' 'em.

Zoe

Next time we smuggle stock, let's make it something smaller.

Wash

Yeah, we should start dealing in those black-market beagles.

River

They weren't cows inside. They were waiting to be, but they forgot. Now they see sky, and they remember what they are.

Mal

Is it bad that what she said made perfect sense to me?