Tiffany quotes from Femme Fatales

Jay

I have a strict policy; I don't... participate.

Alexis

Why not?

Jay

I built my brand on Crazy Chixx, not on some dirtbag trying to get with them.

Tiffany

You've never been in one of your videos?

Jay

No. Never. It would ruin my reputation.

Jay

Where the hell is Kip?

Erida

My fault. Sorry.

Jay

Well, where the hell is he?

Erida

Let's just say his willpower lost this time.

Jay

Kip, you're fired!!

Erida

Don't blame him! He couldn't resist.

Jay

Well, what happened? What'd you do? Jeez! He knows better! To hell with him. You know how to work this thing?

Hell, yeah.

Jay

Good. Come on! I wanna make this lousy bastard sorry.

Tiffany

We have just the thing.

Jay

Uh, all right, look, this is getting kinda dangerous. Tiffany?

Tiffany

I'm getting kind of used to that name. It's got a nice ring to it. My real name is Jessica. But you wouldn't remember that, would you, Jay? Tiffany, well... it's just a variation of a Greek name. Tisiphone. She was a goddess... the goddess of vengeance.

Jay

All right, uh... Kip!!

Tiffany

But I thought you wanted to meet Caroline.

Jay

Screw Caroline!

Tiffany

You already did!! You got me and Caroline drunk. Really drunk. Then you gave us some money. And then you ruined our lives! We had to drop out of school, change our names, and no matter where we moved or what we did, we could not get away from what we did for you! Of course, I handled it a lot better than she did.

Alexis

By the way, I'm Ashley. When you filmed me, that was my name.

Tiffany

It was her brilliant idea to use Greek names.

Alexis

Alexis, from the Greek name Alecto.

Erida

The goddess of unresting.

Alexis

I haven't rested since I met you, Jay.

Erida

Ash graduated magna cum laude in Ancient Greek. She's a member of Mensa, bonehead.

Alexis

I have a feeling I'll rest tonight.

Jay

What do you want?! What do you want?!!

Erida

Isn't it obvious?

Tiffany

We all appeared in your videos. Now it's your turn to be in ours.

Jay

Okay. All right. I know what you're doing, you dumb bitches! You think you're gonna embarrass me?! You think you're gonna film me and make me look like an idiot and ruin my reputation?! When I get out of here, you're gonna be dead! To hell with you, and to hell with your harlot friend Caroline!

And to think I had second thoughts about this.

Tiffany

I told you it would be worth it.

Jay

I'm gonna sue you! I oughta sue you for everything you've got! You wanna film me?! You wanna film me? Go ahead and film me, you stupid harlots!

Tiffany

Come on. Let's go upstairs and clean up.

Jay

Wait!

Tiffany

Congrats, Jay. This will definitely be your biggest hit ever.

Jay

Where are you going? Hey. Hey, come back here! No! Come back! Please! Hey! Come back...! [coughs and chokes] Hey! Help! Help!

Firstly, of course, I would like to apologize for keeping you waiting so long. But I bet you're wondering what you're both doing here, right?

No kidding, Sherlock.

Well... you do have a temper on you, don't you? See, I invited you both here to give you a chance to move on with the rest of your life.

Tiffany

I'm so gone. [starts to leave]

Jessica

[stops Tiffany from leaving] Shut up and listen.

Yeah, I think you should listen to her. Or, of course, I could just call the authorities and tell them about Jay Roma.

Tiffany

Who?

Jessica

Don't be coy, darling. The world may not miss a smut peddler like that, but it still won't get you off with the cops. [turns to Violet] And you, Violet. You're not as sweet and innocent as you look, are you?

Ooh, someone messed with the wrong nurse. Eh, chica?

Violet

How do you know all this?

Because I'm the Amazing Mysterium! And I know all.

Violet

What do you want with us, Mr. Amazing?

What do I want? What could I possibly want? What could I want? How about... money! That's exactly what I want.

Violet

Well, you better take another look into your crystal ball, because I'm not an ATM. I'm broke.

Tiffany

And I'm still trying to pay off my student loans.

Violet

So you've got the wrong chica, ese.

[slams the table with his hand] Well, then you better find some money fast!! Both of you got 48 hours or the next time you sit down with somebody, it'll be with a public defender! [calms down] Why don't you just think about it a little bit, OK? Good afternoon, ladies. I hope you enjoy the show.

Tiffany

We haven't formally met. Tiffany.

Violet

Violet.

Tiffany

You've got incredible eyes, Violet.

Violet

Thanks. Nice dress, Wilma Flintstone. So, did you really kill that dirtbag Jay Roma?

Tiffany

Yeah.

Violet

Do you regret it?

Tiffany

Not for a minute.

Violet

I think we're going to get along swell.

Tiffany

BFFs.

Violet

Don't push it.

Tiffany

How'd you get this way?

Violet

What way?

Tiffany

You know what I'm talking about. We're one and the same, Violet. You weren't always like this. What happened?

Violet

I had a really bad day.

Tiffany

So, I've got a question, and you totally don't have to answer it if you don't want to. But what are you gonna do?

Lilith

You are going to make Foster Prentiss pay for what he did. That is what you are going to do.

Violet

I know you.

Tiffany

Well, I don't. How'd you get in here?

Lilith

I go by many names, but you can call me Lilith.

Tiffany

Are you getting blackmailed, too?

Lilith

No. But we have so much in common.

Violet

We were all blessed with great hair?

Lilith

Men in our pasts have wronged us.

Tiffany

What's this all about?

Lilith

It's very simple, actually. Foster Prentiss killed a girl once. And now you are going to kill Foster Prentiss. And in exchange for this task, you will never have to worry about anyone finding out your secrets again. You will be truly safe. And why the sad faces, girls? It's not like you haven't killed before.

Violet

So, what's one more dead jerk, right?

Lilith

Exactly.

Tiffany

Why don't you kill him, then?

Lilith

And not share the fun? [snaps her fingers and the doors open] Oh. You forgot to thank me for those tickets to the show. It's not like they arrived by magic, you know. Ta-ta!

Violet

So what do we do now?

Tiffany

I've got an idea, chica.

Tiffany

Anything?

Alexis

The only thing I can tell you about Lilith is that according to Jewish folklore, she left her husband, Adam, after she refused to become subservient to him. Although... Dr. Holly Brown writes: "The demonization of Lilith was designed to keep women alienated from their own power and spiritual authority." Now that's what I call girl power.

Tiffany

She was a demon?

Violet

She's Jewish?

Alexis

I don't know who this chick is, but it's obvious she knows way too much about us.

Tiffany

Lilith isn't the problem. Foster Prentiss is.

Alexis

Not for long.

Violet

I don't usually go around killing random dudes without a really good reason.

Alexis

The jerk threatened you. He's trying to extort you. He's obviously a total sleaze. What choice do you have?

Tiffany

What choice do we have?

Tiffany

Professor Williams, do you have a moment? I'd like to run my paper topic by you. I've decided to write about Joan of Arc.

Why?

Tiffany

Well, I can't really think of a stronger woman than Joan of Arc.

Please. She was insane. She heard voices in her head, and was burned at the stake at 16. If you want to write about a strong woman, find someone who used their brains to get what they wanted. Someone like... Cleopatra.

Tiffany

But Cleopatra didn't use her brains. She used love to get men to do her bidding. She's far less noble than Joan of Arc.

That's where you're wrong. Women throughout history have had to use whatever resources were available to take matters into their own hands and get what they wanted. Men have muscles; women have their loving personality. Cleopatra looked at her options at the time and did what she had to do. And that took brains.

Tiffany

I never thought of it that way.

Well, there's a lot that I could teach you.

Tiffany

By the way, that's a lovely scent you're wearing.

I just can't tell you how disappointed I am in you both. The two of you have always been campus leaders. Right now, I'm dealing with overcrowded classrooms, tuition increases and the Cuesta Verde Conquistadors are going 0 for 12 this year. The last thing I need on my plate is a sorority love tape scandal. Girls! I can't get involved with this right now!

Alexis

We are so mortified, Dean Rutledge.

Tiffany

Don't worry. We'll take care of it.

Good. Now, I trust you ladies will handle this with the high standards that I've instilled in you in the last four years.

Tiffany

Of course.

Now, if you'll excuse me.

Tiffany

Hi, Professor Williams.

What's happening?

Tiffany

[referring to Jake Rutledge] Oh, you didn't hear? They found evidence connecting him to his wife's murder.

What evidence?

Tiffany

The murder weapon. It was one of those night sticks that security guards use. They found traces of the Dean's blood, and the Professor's prints were all over it.

That's impossible.

Tiffany

He got it at Walmart. Security camera footage showed him buying it just days before the murder. Funny. He doesn't look like a murderer to me.