They're gonna give me a citation for bravery.
You? Come on, you're afraid of spiders.
Buzz Aldrin was afraid of spiders, and he went into space.
Proud of you, hon.
They really should be giving it to you.
No. No, this is your deal. I get to be chief.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
You wear short pants till you prove you're a man.
RGRye Gerhardt
I'm a man.
You're the comic in a piece of bubble gum!
RGRye Gerhardt
Well, I mean, says you.
You got till tomorrow to bring the collection money you owe.
RGRye Gerhardt
Or what?
You make me wait for you again, I'll cleave your skull.
RGRye Gerhardt
Look, there's two ways this can go...
JMJudge Mundt
[sarcastically] Is one of them "the hard way"?
RGRye Gerhardt
This isn't one of those optional check "A" or "B" scenarios. I'm gonna change your mind.
JMJudge Mundt
[sighs] One day, the Devil came to God and said, "Let's make a bet between you and me for the soul of a man." And from on high they looked down on Job, a devout man, religious. And the Devil said, "I can change his mind and make him curse your name." And God said, "Try and you will only fail." So the Devil begins. He kills Job's herds and takes his fields. He plagues him with boils and throws him on the ash heap. But Job's mind remains unchanged. So I ask you, son, if the Devil couldn't change Job's mind, how the hell are you gonna change mine?
RGRye Gerhardt
What?
JMJudge Mundt
You're a little dim, aren't you?
It's a diner robbery in Minnesota, Karl. Not a presidential assassination.
Oh, sure. That's how it starts-- with something small, like a break-in at the Watergate Hotel. But just watch. This thing's only getting bigger.
Unacceptable is what it is. A woman like that in the prime of her... With a young daughter! Tell her if John McCain could hold out for 5 1/2 years against Viet Cong thumbscrews, she can beat this cancer bullshit in her sleep.
I'll make sure to mention that.
Your dad said he'd be over Sunday in a suit of armor.
BSBetsy Solverson
Ugh. Geez. You light one souffle on fire...
[Dodd and Dent are torturing a man]
Fought in the trenches in France - World War I. He was an artillerieschuetzen, my granddad, a gunner. Blasted mustard gas at the Allies. Had them dancing like poisoned rats. Brits caught him in a raid, hung him by his thumbs for six days straight. So this, what we're doing, this is nothing. [beat] Are you listening to me? Is he listening to me?
Cut off his ears.
Wake him up.
He's dead, I think.
Weak.
Management says acquire the territory, we acquire it. Whether that's cash down or sending bodies to the morgue, that's up to the Krauts. First Gerhardt to switch sides gets a shiny, red apple.
We got a plan, you know?
CHConstance Heck
The word "we" is a castle, hon, with a moat and a drawbridge. And you know what gets locked up in castles?
Dragons?
CHConstance Heck
Princesses. Don't be a prisoner of "we".
I'm gonna radio ahead and make sure you make it out of State. If not, I'm gonna put out an APB and have you boys rounded up. And then we'll talk again. You understand?
I do. And isn't that a minor miracle? The state of the world today and the level of conflict and misunderstanding, that two men could stand on a lonely road in winter and talk calmly and rationally while all around them, people are losing their mind. You have a nice day.
After WWII, we went six years without a - without a murder here. Six years. And these days, well... Sometimes wonder if you boys didn't bring that war home with ya.
Say, you wouldn't by any chance be Mike Milligan and the Kitchen brothers, would ya?
You make us sound like a prog-rock band. "Ladies and gentlemen, introducing Mike Milligan and the Kitchen brothers." [A Kitchen brother grabs a shotgun] Double whoops.
Easy.
Minnesota cop. You do know you're in North Dakota, right?
Must've got lost on the way to the lake.
So, where'd you say you saw old Skip?
At your mother's house. I think going in the backdoor.
I like him. I like you. Met another fella from Minnesota yesterday. Big guy, sheriff, I think. I liked him, too.
We're a very friendly people.
No, that's not it. Pretty unfriendly, actually. But it's the way you're unfriendly, how you're so polite about it. Like you're doing me a favor.
No drugs, your dad says. Says anyone sells to you gets the axe.
Geez, you're all a bunch of squares. Sometimes a girl just wants to bust a nut, ya know?
Rye Gerhardt - raised without the proper moral fiber, I'm thinking. I mean, to kill all those people, and for what? You know, a little money?
You sure about this plan?
It'll work. Like I said, my uncle used to drive his truck and drink Old Milwaukee. And, you know, insurance don't want to pay for accidents when you're drunk, so he came up with this plan. Every crack-up, he'd drive his truck to some deserted spot till he sobered up, fake a new accident to cover the damage he did drinking.
Well, it's creative.
So, that's what we do. We cover the damage, file a report, and then, I mean, that should do it. We got rid of the - I mean, the guy's all ground up, and you burned his clothes, you said, so, once the car's fixed, it's - We're free. You been a real paladin.
A... what's that?
It's like a knight. My knight.
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