Fallout quotes

Cooper

All right, birthday boy. Let’s get a photo of you up here on Sugarfoot. [Hoists boy up on horse]

[To Bob] Why the hell is Cooper Howard working kids’ birthday parties?

Bob

[To Frank] What else? Alimony. [Chuckles]

What’d they say, Dad?

Cooper

That I’m lucky to have such a good helper like you.

Bob

[Motioning for a photo opportunity] Aw, Coop, Coop, Coop. Do your thumbs-up.

Cooper

Yeah, you know, given the state of everything, I’d prefer not to, if that’s all right.

Bob

Why not? It’s what you’re famous for.

Yeah. Drop it, Bob.

Cooper

We gotta... we got to get this rodeo on the road.

Hal, I can’t... I’m sorry, I can’t do this. I can’t do the weather if I don’t even know if there’s gonna be a next week.

[Changes TV channel] Only thinking happy thoughts today.

Sugar Bombs presents Grognak the Barbarian and the Ruby Ruins.

Cooper

I think that’s everything. [Sighs]

Why wouldn’t you do it? The thumbs-up.

Cooper

Oh, it’s, uh... that’s grown-up stuff. [Smacks lips] Well, back when I was in the Marines, they taught us that if they ever drop a really big bomb, told us to hold up your thumb just like this. And if the cloud is smaller than your thumb, well, you run for the hills.

And if it’s bigger than your thumb?

Cooper

They told us not to bother running.

Do you think it’s gonna happen?

Cooper

I certainly hope not. But us cowpokes, we take it as it comes, right?

Can I have a slice, Dad?

Cooper

You know what? Let me see if I can’t rustle you up a piece. All right, one piece of cake coming up for my favorite cowgirl.

Is it your thumb or mine?

Cooper

That’s smoke, Janey. It’s just a fire.

[To Bob going in cellar] Let us in with you.

Bob

No room. Back off. [Punches Frank in face]

Lucy

My name is Lucy MacLean, and I’m an active contributor to the wellbeing of my community. Repair Skills. I enjoy participating in the Young Pipefitter’s Association, which keeps me active. Science Skills. Obviously, mine are nothing compared to my dad’s, but I always relish a challenge. Speech Skills. My primary passion is teaching American History, with a focus on ethics. I also participate in Gymnastics Club, Fencing Team C... Intermediate Phys Ed... and I dabble in Riflery. Though I’m not very good. In my personal time, I enjoy taking walks and watching movies with my dad, gardening… also with my dad... and participating in my family book club. We’re still trying to get my brother on board. He’ll come around when he’s ready. My reproductive organs are intact. My hygiene well maintained, and yet, I have been unable to find a suitable marriage partner. At least one I’m not related to. And we have rules about that for a reason. So, it is with sound mind and body that I hereby submit my application to the council to participate in the Triennial Trade with Vault 32.

Lucy

[To Chet before opening the door to Vault 32 to meet her future husband] Chet, what’s going on?

Lucy, I love you.

Lucy

We all know that, Chet. Messing around with your cousin, it’s all well and good for kids, but it’s not sustainable for long-term sexual practice, you know?

[To bounty hunters right after being unearthed from grave] Well, well, well. Why, is this an Amish production of The Count of Monte Cristo... or the weirdest circle jerk I’ve ever been invited to?

A feral ghoul can't abide a chicken. If he goes for her, we kill him.

You are a vault dweller, but if you're going to survive, you need to start acting like a surface dweller. Question is, will you still want the same things when you have become a different animal altogether?

[To Maximus after Maximus saved him from a farmer] You, sir, are a scholar and a gentleman. You should be commended.

[To Maximus] I’m sorry, okay? Don’t- don’t murder me. It’s just... The guy was fucking my chickens.

Okay. On your way, citizen.

[After Lucy shot him with a tranquilizer gun] Well, now, that is a very small drop in a very, very large bucket of drugs.

[To Lucy after taking a cyanide pill] Vault-Tec Plan D. It was the most humane product that Vault-Tec ever made. It was quick, painless. T-Tasted like banana. I- I was surprised it wasn’t more popular.

Cooper Howard

Well, I'd say come up here and get me, but it's hard to walk upstairs when you're wearing a 12 piece cast-iron skillet set.

You know, there was a time when they did studies on all kinds of things. Hell, you couldn't open a newspaper without readin' some kind of survey or another. Well, one of them things they studied was whether torturin' somebody actually gets anything useful. You don't need no studies to know that. You don't learn anything from torturing somebody.

Lucy

Then-why are you doing this?

Well, I'm not torturing you, sweetheart. I'm usin' you as bait. [Kicks Lucy back into the lake]

Lucy

[To Ghoul] You can’t treat people like this.

Yeah? Why’s that?

Lucy

Because of the golden rule. “Do unto others as you would have done unto you.”

Yeah, well, the Wasteland’s got its own golden rule.

Lucy

Oh? What’s that?

Thou shalt get sidetracked by bullshit every goddamn time.