AI Robert House quotes from Fallout

I am a mathematician, a roboticist, and a casino owner. And I don't know yet how you figure into all of this, but you most certainly do. And I don't like unknown variables. Irksome, not knowing exactly how you play a part in ending the world.

RobCo presents, The Automated Man. I spent a long time trying to make machines more lifelike. Turns out it works the other way around too.

Well hello, old chum.

Like it or not, Mister Howard, everyone works for me eventually.

Vault-Tec wanted an impenetrable Vault buried half a mile below the city. But I was always one step ahead. I rigged every aspect of this city so I could protect its future. I rigged every slot machine, every roulette wheel. I even rigged their "impenetrable Vault for Management." But I miscalculated. Because this Vault belongs not to Vault-Tec, but to their investors. I never fathomed that there could be someone one step ahead of me.

When it came to predicting the end of the world, I was off by just a smidge. But when it came to controlling the future, I was wholly outclassed by an invisible adversary. It was they who set the Deathclaws on Vegas. And now one of their acolytes is here, in this very building.

While the Government twiddles thumbs at the negotiating table with our Communist adversaries from across the Pacific, Captains of Industry gather in Las Vegas, Nevada, to decide the fate of the Free World! And the leader of this history summit? Robert Edwin House, founder of RobCo, the nation's leading robotics manufacturer! So what does this titan of the private sector think about his odds at succeeding where the Government has failed?

Where I come from, which is America, The House Always Wins.

Hello. I'm Robert House.

Cooper Howard

From the fucking toilet?

I apologize. I was just very eager to meet you. I know came to Vegas to kill me, did you not?

Cooper Howard

How long have you been pretending to be this guy?

About ten years. [shrugs] It's a living.

Like yourself, Mister Howard, I am an apex competitor. We are the very best at what we do. And I what I do is, I know everything. I know who is making what technology, and I acquire that technology in the most lucrative moment in its span of functionality. This week I'm acquiring Cold Fusion from Vault-Tec.

Cooper Howard

From my wife.

Correct. It will allow me to stay alive indefinitely, in roboticized, non-biological form, and protect Las Vegas from the coming nuclear war.

Cooper Howard

Initiated by my wife.

Hmm. Unclear.

No. I doubt that, despite what we both heard in that meeting. Vault-Tec is a collision of bureaucrats. Your wife though? I don't know.

I routinely design and run mathematical paradigms based on global, political, and socioeconomic conditions in an effort to predict future events. And one spring morning, the data coalesced. And told me in no uncertain terms that the world would...well, end.

Cooper Howard

A calculator told you that?

The date of the end of the world may not interest you, Mister Howard. But the date that data coalesced might. April 14th, 2065. At 5:17 AM. Is that date of any interest to you?

Cooper Howard

[disturbed] That's my daughter's birthday.

That is vexingly curious, isn't it? More curious is that you were not meant to come to Las Vegas this weekend. Your wife Barbara was meant to come alone. The moment you bought your ticket to Las Vegas, the date the world was going to end jumped forward by one month.

Cooper Howard

You know, the person who wanted me to kill you, they think that you are gonna end things by selling Vault-Tec the weapons it needs.

No. No, the bombs will not be dropped by me or any of the idiots in that meeting. I believe there is another player at the table. The same unknown entity responsible for your demon in the snow.

Cooper Howard

Who?

I..I don't know. Like I said, Irksome. You see, I live my life by one simple maxim.

Cooper Howard

The House Always Wins, right?

And it does. I'm making sure of it by making use of every single piece of technology at my disposal. [genuinely frightened] But..but what if I'm not the House? What if someone else is?

Cooper Howard

What if you're just a fucking lunatic?

I'm a lunatic? I would encourage you to gaze inward, Mister Howard. To your small life. Spending your days pretending to be a cowboy, while your wife is making apocalyptic proposals at board meetings! And I'm building a missile system to defend this glorious city from what's coming! But from whom, Mister Howard?! From whom?!

Who ends the world Mister Howard? Is it you? What if it is you?! I don't think you're a cowboy at all! No! I think you're a killer! I think I know exactly who you are!

[pointing a gun at the diode] What happens if I shoot this thing?

Unclear. There's only ever been one of them, so it would be fresh snow from a scientific standpoint. But if it were to expel all of its energy simultaneously? The damage would likely extend to other planets. So I would exercise extreme caution.

The Enclave's eyes are everywhere. You should know, Mister Howard. Two hundred years ago you delivered that diode into their possession yourself. You helped bring forth the greatest threat to the Wasteland. You were their unwitting servant.

I am what I am.

Is that what you'll tell your family when you find them?

I want you to know that it wasn't me.

Cooper Howard

What wasn't you?

Whatever it is that's about to happen. I told you, there are far worse people than I, Mister Howard.