TV show quotes
Ask any parent and they'll tell you their child is incredibly brilliant. One in a million of those parents might be right. Just try telling that to the other couple hundred thousand.
[After his cellphone rings to the I Dream of Jeanie theme] You know, that ring takes all the authority out of what you just said.
What do you want?
Nothing, just to enjoy your company. You want my pudding?
Alright, what's the favor Bright?
What are you talking about, what favor? Ok, it's about Amy.
No.
You don't even know what I was going to ask.
It doesn't matter, the answer's no.
Why?
Because whatever is going on with your sister is your business, not mine. Whenever I try to make it my business, she gets mad.
Keep an eye on her. Not all the time. Just... when you're not busy being a loner geek with weird t-shirts.
You want me to stalk your sister?
You already do.
[To Ephram] So you know what I was thinking... If there's all these college guys who are like totally hitting on high school girls, then there's probably a whole surplus of neglected college girls who want to hit on high school guys.
That was fatherly advice, wasn't it?
Not bad.
See, I really am getting better.
Hey, Dad. One more thing... can I go to a frat party tonight?
A frat party?
Yes, there's going to be drinking, drugs, unprotected sex. I'll probably be the youngest person there. Besides, I don't want to go. I have to.
Why?
Because you just said that if I know something, I have to do something about it.
And so having said that, I'm all but forced to let you go to a party I never would have agreed to prior. Maybe you're getting better at this.
This thing you're doing with the stove. I don't understand.
I'm cooking for my children. Get over yourself.
But you don't cook. You don't even reheat.
Oh cool, my brother reads comic books too.
Oh, actually they're not comic books. It's Manga. Big difference.
Anyway, he collects the dolls and all that stuff. Spiderman, The Hulk, he loves Samson Storm from X-men. He's 12, it's really cute. Do you have any?
No, no dolls.
Yes you do, you have that guy with the red hair that you won't let me play with.
That's not a doll, Delia. That's a collectible.
[about Madison] Who was that?
Oh you mean Satan? That's Delia's new babysitter. I basically hate her.
I think I am a pretty good judge of people.
Yeah? Like that maid you hired back in Manhattan that stole all the silverware?
Your dad says you have something to say to me.
I apologize... Madison.
Wow, thank you Ephram. That was very manly, have a carrot stick.
[puts carrot stick in his mouth]
Ephram: [reading his essay] The more things change, the more they stay the same. I'm not sure who the first person was who said that. Probably Shakespeare. Or maybe Sting. But at the moment, it's the sentence that best explains my tragic flaw: my inability to change. I don't think I'm alone in this. The more I get to know other people, the more I realize it's kind of everyone's flaw. Staying exactly the same for as long as possible, standing perfectly still... it feels safer somehow. And if you are suffering, at least the pain is familiar. Because if you took that leap of faith, went outside the box, did something unexpected... who knows what other pain might be out there, waiting for you. Chances are it could be even worse.So you maintain the status quo. Choose the road already traveled and it doesn't seem that bad. Not as far as flaws go. You're not a drug addict. You're not killing anyone... except maybe yourself a little.When we finally do change, I don't think it happens like an earthquake or an explosion, where all of a sudden we're like this different person. I think it's smaller than that. The kind of thing most people wouldn't even notice unless they looked at us really close. Which, thank God, they never do.But you notice it. Inside you that change feels like a world of difference. And you hope this is it. This is the person you get to be forever... that you'll never have to change again.
[voiceover] They say that from the instant he lays eyes on her, a father adores his daughter. Whomever she grows up to be, she is always to him that little girl in pigtails. She makes him feel like Christmas. In exchange, he makes a secret promise not to see the awkwardness of her teenage years, the mistakes she makes, or the secrets she keeps.
[To Delia] I still think picking a hero is overrated. You pick one, you admire them, a week later, they've been arrested.
So I hear you stick people with needles. Sounds like fun.
It can be, especially when they're annoying.
Oh, so you must really like working with my dad.
You were right, I was wrong.
It must have caused you some physical pain for you to utter that sentence.
Just some internal bleeding.
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