Amy Nicole Abbott quotes from Everwood

Hannah

Did you and Ephram have a good time at the drive in?

Amy

Eh, it was...whatever.

Hannah

How was the movie?

Amy

I don't know.

Hannah

Oh right, you guys were probably...

Amy

No. Not even. We played the how long can we kiss before it gets so unbearably boring that I'd actually rather watch someone get eaten by a giant centipede.

Hannah

Is that a game?

Amy

No Hannah, it's my life.

Amy

So Saturday night? 8:00?

Ephram

For sex? 8:00, 9:00, 7:30...

Amy

Good, so you bring the condoms and I'll see if I can score us some of my mom's fried chicken for after.

Amy

It's all about how men and women are made to feel inadequate about their bodies.

Hannah

They should have just named this chapter: Hannah.

Amy

When are you going to accept my Lord?

Ephram

When you stop persecuting my people.

At least they (boys) have control over their bodies. Stuff doesn't just happen to them without them letting it happen.

Amy

Well, um, let me put it this way. In a couple years when a boy gets called up to the chalkboard to do a math problem and he brings his textbook with him, just remember this little conversation, okay?

Ephram

Ya know, this place is so world-renowned, you'd think they'd be able to afford to decorate.

Amy

Easy there, Queer Eye, it's not a design center.

Bright

I'm totally going into medicine.

Amy

You might have to start by going to college first.

Amy

I've wanted to be a ballerina ever since I was a little girl.

Harold

Yeah. And you also wanted to be a princess and an astronaut, and, I believe, a carrot at one point.

Amy

Jealousy is such a pointless emotion, just a complete total waste of energy.

Hannah

Really. So you never feel jealous of Madison?

Amy

That's different. She's an ex.

Amy

You are such an ass.

Ephram

[to Bright] One of us is in trouble.

Amy

You are completely ruining her [Hannnah's] life, did you know that?

Ephram

Well, that rules me out.

Amy

Do you remember saying about him that he loved you of course, that he grow up in Long Island, graduated from Juilliard but didn't like touring so he got into teaching.

Ephram

Do you remember everything I say, because that's a little scary?

Hannah

And I'll always be happy to take care of your kids for you when you and Ephram need a little nookie time.

Amy

Hannah!

Hannah

What? I've heard the stories about your grandparents.

Amy

OK, you've officially lost your maid of honor status.

Hannah

I just think you and Ephram should start off with more of a bang.

Amy

Yes, but we're not technically starting. It's more like, we almost got cancelled and then everyone decided that they loved us, so we got picked up for another season.

Amy

You know what it is? It's that this whole time, you've been thinking about me. Always making sure that I'm okay, no matter what.

Ephram

Is that…is that wrong?

Amy

No, no. It's just that I was always thinking about us.

Amy

You're not the only one in the room Narcissus.

Bright

I thought we agreed that you were going to stop insulting me in Spanish.