Ephram Brown quotes from Everwood

Amy

Do you remember saying about him that he loved you of course, that he grow up in Long Island, graduated from Juilliard but didn't like touring so he got into teaching.

Ephram

Do you remember everything I say, because that's a little scary?

Amy

You know what it is? It's that this whole time, you've been thinking about me. Always making sure that I'm okay, no matter what.

Ephram

Is that…is that wrong?

Amy

No, no. It's just that I was always thinking about us.

Bright

Boyfriend? Topher's not Hannah's boyfriend.

Ephram

They've gone on three dates; he took her to prom. What else would you call him?

Bright

Personally, I'd call him an asshat!

Edna

Three months farting around in Europe and not a tattoo to show for it...that's my boy.

Ephram

Well I was sporting a goatee for a while but that was just to fit in, those people in France have a real thing for body hair.

Ephram

I love parties.

Bright

Since when? You're a social black hole, all light goes into you and dies.

Ephram

Alright, first of all, it's not certain that light is conscious, so it can't die.

Ephram

Where is Delia?

Bright

[looking around] I don't know. I bet she's got a job by now.

Ephram

You're supposed to watch her, right? She is just a little kid. You can't let her walk ...

Bright

Sorry! Sometimes I forget how young she is. She's got the Dakota Fanning thing going on, she acts like a 40 year old. She freaks me out.

Andy

Why'd you come back to Everwood?

Ephram

[exhales] I am still in love with Amy.

Bright

She's not going to have premarital sex until she's married.

Ephram

That's uh... nevermind.

Bright

Do you have the padres with you?

Ephram

No I don't know where they are. They're probably making out.

Ephram

[about Reid grinding coffee] Is there a law against doing that before noon?

Reid

I'm sorry man. My morning coffee's the key to my whole day. It's Kona... and serious. That's why it costs like, 20 bucks a bean.

Ephram

Is that why you can't afford a shirt?

Ephram

Every time you left my garage last summer it was like Pig-Pen had just been there. Sometimes when I think about you, I envision this, like, uh, dust cloud over your head.

Amy

I guess that makes you the obsessive Peanut who's always banging away on his piano.

Ephram

Well, chicks love Schroeder.

Ephram

Are you sure I can't interest you in a peanut butter jelly sandwich dipped in cold tomato soup?

Amy

It's the dipping that freaks people out Ephram; why must you dip?

Hannah

[answering her cell] Hey, Amy.

Amy

Are you sitting down?

Hannah

Yeah, why?

Amy

I need to talk to you.

Bright

[answering his cell] The boy is back in town, how was New York, man?

Ephram

Fine. I need to ask you something.

Hannah

What's the matter?

Ephram

Say you ran into an old girlfriend.

Amy

Are you sure you're sitting down?

Bright

Don't tell me you saw Madison?

Hannah

[to Bright] He saw Madison?…!

Ephram

No, not Madison.

Amy

So, I went over to Ephram's last week.

Ephram

And you weren't planning on anything happening…

Amy

And we were just supposed to study…

Ephram

And things got a little heated…

Amy

And there was no one there…

Ephram

And then something kinda…

Amy

And we totally had sex.

Hannah

You and Ephram slept together?!!

Bright

[to Hannah] What?! No way!

Ephram

"No way" what?

Amy

I've been meaning to tell you.

Ephram

Hello, you there?

Amy

I just felt so weird.

Bright

Dude, did you and my sister get back together?

Amy

And I don't know what it means yet.

Ephram

What? Who told you that?

Hannah

I can't believe this.

Bright

I can't believe you.

Hannah

Bright. This is so…Great.

Bright

…Bad.

Ephram

Have you talked to her?

Amy

And he said he's still in love with me.

Ephram

Did she say we were back together?

Amy

And we haven't spoken since.

Hannah

Okay, listen, come and get me right now.

Bright

Okay, stay where you are.

Hannah

We have to celebrate.

Bright

Time for some serious damage control.

Amy

This is not a celebration, Hannah.

Ephram

I don't need damage control.

Amy

I'll be there in ten.

Ephram

Fine, if you're coming, bring breakfast, and beer.

Hannah

Guess that bike ride's gonna have to wait.

Bright

Yeah.

Andy

Does your sister know you're using her computer?

Ephram

Do I care?

Andy

Have you seen her lately? She'd kick your skinny white ass.

Bright

Aw yeah, B plus. Career high. Who puts the stud in American Studies? Bright Abbott does, ladies and gentlemen. I could do this professionally.

Ephram

You want to be a Historian?

Bright

God, is that what it would make me? Never mind.