George quotes from Drop the Dead Donkey

George

If you can't stand the kitchen...get out of it.

George

Must be hard work spending all day on a great big motor-dyke.

Dave

Another big statement from President Bush. From inside a bunker.

George

A bunker?

Dave

Yeah. Just off the thirteenth green. When the going gets tough, the tough go golfing.

George

This story is so difficult to translate so that a layman can actually understand it. I mean, they've been found guilty of theft, false accounting...

Dave

That's theft.

George

Conspiracy to inflate shares...

Dave

That's theft.

George

Then they say they didn't realise they were acting illegally.

Dave

That's bollocks.

George

I actually think it's rather important that women should have equality in the office place.

Joy

Oh, good. Then you can get your own coffee.

George, "Jesus died for our sins" is the biggest news there's ever been, now isn't it?

George

Well, I mean it did happen over two thousand years ago.

Have you tried the Daily Express?

Damien

You know you kill 300 brain cells with every sip. (Dave takes a swig) That's 600.

Sally

Yes. Well, that's why I don't drink.

George

(tipsy) Very wise. One half of shandy could wipe out your whole brainǃ

Damien

Did anyone see World in Action? They sneaked inside a maternity ward, to show how poor security was. I mean, I did that two years agoǃ Do you remember that, George?

George

How could we forget(?)

Damien

(defensively) I put the baby backǃ

Dave

And at what point did you mention your severe phobia of flying? And violent motion sickness?

George

Well, I didn't mention them. Not strictly speaking.

Dave

And were you okay?

George

Not strictly speaking. I filled up four of those containers, Sue's handbag and the hood of the pilot's anorak. And then we took off.