Judith Judy Funnie quotes from Doug

"The air is electric with fragrance of this new venture. What's that smell? Ooh, gives me strength."

Mother...I am not going to have fun. This is research for my part in the next school play, "Teenage Bimbos from Planet Earth." As the lead bimbo I've got to find out what it's like being a typical shallow teenager. I've got to look into their empty heads and get into the character's vacuous soul.

Dad, I'm sorry I made such a big deal about Beebe's boat. It doesn't matter to me how much you spend on presents.

You mean you kids don't care about being rich?

Well I wouldn't go that far.

What I really want for my birthday is...is you. [they all embrace] And maybe a football.

[angrily scolds Porkchop for biting Beebe] Porkchop, how could you do that? You never did anything like this before. You don't bite people! Even if it is Beebe.

[barking about what happened]

[furiously screams at Porkchop] Quit clowning around, Porkchop! This is serious. [angrily sends Porkchop to his doghouse] You go in your Igloo and think about what you did.

[tearfully whimpers and sadly enters his doghouse]

[drives to the house] Doug! Come on, we're going to be late! Come on, Dougie. Only two more Christmas shopping hours Until mom gets home. Honestly, Doug, you're slower than Christmas.

Hopping Whopping Wieners turned out to be a stinky idea, so we bailed and went to Beebe's house.

Don't you remember when you were two? You cancelled it because of a dirty diaper, and then five the infamous trike, episode 6, the clown. Seventh, pony. Eight, Grandma Opal, ninth---

Okay, okay, you made your point!

[pissed off] DOUGLAS!!!

[takes the Shakespeare book] Let go, boy.

Huh? [sees the Shakespear book destroyed, gasps and got pissed off] Do you know what this is, You stupid Curr?! A Shakespeare first Poem was at the museum! (to the puppy angrily) Let go!

[eats the paper and swallows it which pisses Judy off]

[shrieking] He ate Shakespear! I'm having a heart attack. [furiously turns red with anger and angrily grabs Doug by the shirt] YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE WATCHING THAT BEAST!!!

I can't watch it all the time. When do I get to have fun?

I don't care! He's your responsibility!