Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart quotes from Doctor Who

Nonsense, what you need, Doctor, as Miss Shaw herself so often remarked, is someone to pass you your test tubes, and to tell you how brilliant you are.

Jenkins...chap with wings there, five rounds, rapid!

Three of them, eh? I didn't know when I was well off.

You know, just once I'd like to meet an alien menace that wasn't immune to bullets.

Tell them I've retired. Tell them I've decided to fade away.

Sorry, Doctor, but I think I'm rather more expendable than you are!

My goodness, no. Don't you realise that when I was stranded on this little planet of yours, I had nothing but these clothes that I... Oh, my goodness!

What is it, Doctor?

Well, I've just realised. I don't even own these. I borrowed them from the hospital. And there's that car, too. Yes, you know, I took to that car. It had character.

No, Doctor. That car must be returned to its owner.

Must it? Yes, yes, I suppose it must. Still, there's no reason why you couldn't find me something similar, is there? I mean, it could persuade me to stay, you know.

Oh, very well.

Good. When can we go and choose it?

Not yet. I must arrange for a full set of papers first. By the way, I've just realised. I don't even know your name.

Smith. Doctor John Smith.

This thing actually attacked you?

Jo Grant

It was going to if Mike hadn't shot it. It was horrible.

Seems as though you may be right, Doctor.

I usually am.

Well, it's dead enough now.

Jo, where were you when this thing started moving?

Jo

I was on the telephone.

And what about you, Captain Yates?

I wasn't here, I'd just gone out to, uh, fetch a tin of cocoa.

Yes, well something must have-[pause] Fetch a tin of what?

Cocoa.

Are you trying to tell me that you were going to make cocoa in my lab?!

That was the general idea. I'm sorry, Doctor.

[Looking for the Doctor and Jo who are chased by 2 autons disguised as policemen] Doctor? Miss Grant?

Get down man! Get down!

Look out!

They're Autons! Bullets can't stop them!

Thank you, Brigadier. But do you think for once in your life, you could manage to arrive before the nick of time?!

I'm glad to see you too, Doctor.

In any case, Doctor, every section of UNIT now has the search for the Master written into standing orders.

Priority Z one hundred and forty four, I suppose?

Priority A one, actually.

Look, I tell you, Brigadier, there is grave danger.

Danger of what, for heavens sake?

Well, I'm not sure, but in my dream I quite clearly saw...

You know, if this got out, you'd be the laughing stock of UNIT. A dream. Really, Doctor, you'll be consulting the entrails of a sheep next. [Jo laughs]

Right, stand still, everyone! Er, where's the Master?

A very good question, Brigadier.

Doctor, glad to see you're back. Miss Grant, what on Earth are you doing in that extraordinary get-up? And where, for heaven's sake, is Sergeant Benton!?

[to Ruth] The Baby! We forgot the Baby!

[stands up, no longer a baby, but still undressed] Would somebody please mind telling me exactly what's happening around here?

Is there anything I can do?

Yes, pass me a silicon rod. [Stirs cup of tea with it]

I meant is there anything UNIT can do about this space lightning business?

I can manage now, thank you.

I'm delighted to hear it. Make yourself at home. We're only supposed to be a top secret security establishment(!) Liberty Hall, Dr. Tyler. Liberty Hall!

I've explained all that. You're his assistant.

His WHAT??