Tenth Doctor quotes from Doctor Who

[over the intercom] Doctor?

What is it now?!

Who had the most number ones, Elvis or the Beatles? That's pre-download.

Elvis. No! The Beatles. No! Wait, um... um... awww, that remix... um... I don't know, I am a bit busy.

Fine, I'll ask someone else.

Now where was I?... Here comes the sun... No, resources.

All you have to do is open it and he's back.

You knew this all along, and yet you watched while Nurse Redfern and I--

I didn't know how to stop you! He gave me a list of things to watch out for, but that wasn't included.

Falling in love? That didn't even occur to him?

[she hesitates] No.

[teary-eyed] Then what sort of a man is that?! And now you expect me to die?!

It was always going to end, though! The Doctor said the Family's got a limited lifespan, and that's why they need to consume a Time Lord. Otherwise, three months and they die. Like mayflies, he said.

So your job was to execute me.

People are dying out there! They need him, and I need him! Because you've got no idea what he's like. I've only just met him, it wasn't even that long ago, but... he is everything. He's just everything to me, and he doesn't even look at me, but I don't care. Because I love him to bits. And I hope to God he won't remember me saying this.

[startled by the spaceship] I don't care about this Doctor, or your family. I just want you to go! [hyperventilates] So, I've made my choice. [stretches out right arm: the fob watch is in his hand] You can have him. [beat] Just take it, please! [as Son of Mine approaches the fob watch] Take him away!

At last. [takes the fob watch and studies it. He suddenly lashes out with his right hand, gripping hold of Smith's lapel and dragging him up; menacingly] Don't think that saved your life! [pushes Smith away; Smith falls against the wall, knocking three switches down, turning them all on] Family of Mine... [the Family gathers around him; Smith looks terrified] ...now, we shall have the lives of a Time Lord.

[angrily] It's EMPTY! [closes the watch and glares at Smith]]

[nervously] Where's it gone?

[annoyed] You tell me! [throws the watch at Smith, who they all realise is now none other than the Doctor, having masked his identity from the Family by faking his John Smith persona. The Doctor drops the charade.]

[stands up] Oh, I think the explanation might be you've been fooled by a simple olfactory misdirection, a little bit like ventriloquism of the nose. It's an elementary trick in certain parts of the galaxy. [We hear a static-like sound and he moves to look at one of the ship's machines] But it has got to be said... [puts his glasses on and leans into the machine] I don't like the look of that hydrokinometer. [the Family looks at it] It seems to be indicating you've got energy feedback [gestures at the ceiling, where the Family looks] all the way through the retro-stabilisers feeding back [knocks a stone column twice] into the primary heat converter. [gives a patronising gasp, the Family glares at him] 'Cos if there's one thing you shouldn't have done, you shouldn't have let me press all those buttons. [backs to the spaceship's entrance] But, in fairness, I will give you one word of advice: [dangerously grinning] Run! [He turns and flees, red lights start flashing and noises start increasing in volume. The spaceship is obviously going to explode.]

[realises what the Doctor has done; alarmed] Get out! GET OUT! [leads his family out of the spaceship, and everybody gets clear before the spaceship explodes. Though nobody is hurt, everybody is knocked over by the fiery blast, before the Doctor rights himself and stands menacingly over the Family.]

He's the Doctor.

Yep, that's me.

Okay, that's scary.

No, it sounds like he's replying, but he always says that.

Yes, I do.

And that.

Yep, and this.

He can hear us! Oh, my God, you can really hear us!

Of course he can't hear us. Look, I've got a transcript, see? Everything he says. "Yep, that's me," "Yes, I do," "Yep, and this," next is...

[sheepishly] Sorry.

What do you mean, Angels? You mean those statue things?

Creatures from another world.

But they're just statues.

Only when you see them.

What does that mean?

The "Lonely Assassins", they used to be called. No one quite knows where they came from, but they're as old as the universe, or very nearly, and they have survived this long because they have the most perfect defence system ever evolved: they're quantum-locked. They don't exist when they're being observed. The moment they are seen by any other living creature, they freeze into rock. No choice, it's a fact of their biology. In the sight of any living thing, they literally turn to stone. And you can't kill a stone. Of course, a stone can't kill you either, but then you turn your head away, then you blink... and oh, yes it can.

[to Larry, regarding a nearby Angel] Don't take your eyes off that.

That's why they cover their eyes. They're not weeping, they can't risk looking at each other. Their greatest asset is their greatest curse. They can never be seen. The loneliest creatures in the universe.

[to Martha] Captain Jack Harkness... and who are you?

Martha Jones.

Nice to meet you, Martha Jones.

[Irritated] Oh, don't start!

I was only saying 'hello'!

[flattered] I don't mind.

But the thing is, why'd you leave him behind, Doctor?

[dismissively] I was busy.

Is that what happens though, seriously? You just get bored of us one day and disappear?

Not if you're blonde.

[sarcastically] Oh, she was blonde! Oh, what a surprise!

[spinning around, irritated] You two, we're at the end of the universe. Okay?! Right at the edge of knowledge itself! And you're busy... [struggling to find the right word] BLOGGING!

And... Utopia is...?

Oh, every human knows about Utopia! Where have you been?!

Bit of a hermit.

A hermit? With... friends?

Hermits United. We meet up every ten years, swap stories about caves. It's good fun. For a hermit.

So, Doctor, tell us. Who is he? How come the ancient race of Time Lords created a psychopath?

Yeah, and what is he to you? Like a colleague or...?

He was a friend, at first...

I thought you were going to say he was your secret brother or something.

[pause] You've been watching too much TV.

But all the legends of Gallifrey made it sound so perfect.

Well, perfect to look at, maybe. And it was, it was beautiful. They used to call it the Shining World of the Seven Systems. And on the continent of Wild Endeavour, in the mountains of Solace and Solitude, there stood the Citadel of the Time Lords. The oldest and most mighty race in the universe. Looking down on the galaxies below, sworn never to interfere, only to watch. Children of Gallifrey were taken from their families at the age of eight, to enter the Academy. Some say that's where it all began, when he was a child. That's when the Master saw eternity. As a novice, he was taken for initiation. He stood in front of the Untempered Schism. It's a gap in the fabric of reality through which could be seen the whole of the vortex. We stand there, eight years old, staring at the raw power of Time and Space, just a child. Some would be inspired. Some would run away. And some would go mad. Oh, I dunno.

What about you?

Oh, the ones that ran away! I never stopped.

[grinning, seemingly ignorant.] Oh! I know what it's like. It's like when you fancy someone and they don't even know you exist. That's what it's like. [he runs off.] Come on!

You too, huh?

It's that sound, it's stuck in your head, what if I could help-

Oh, how to shut him up? I know, memory lane! Professor Lazarus, remember him, with his, "Genetic Manipulation Device"? [Flashback appears] Did you think little Tish got that job merely by coinsidence? I've been laying traps for you all this time, and if I can concentrate all of that Lazarus Technology into one...little...Screwdriver. [The Doctor Stares, shocked.] But, oooh, if only I had The Doctor's biological code...W-wait a minute, I do! [Clicks] I've got his hand! And if Lazarus made himself younger, then what if we reverse it, another, what? Hundred years? [The Master violently points his laser screwdriver at the Doctor and starts aging him.]

Dying in your arms. Happy now?

You're not dying, don't be stupid. It's only a bullet. Just regenerate.

No.

One little bullet, come on.

I guess you don't know me so well. I refuse.

Regenerate. Just regenerate. Please. Please! Just regenerate! Come on!

And spend the rest of my life imprisoned with you?!

[breaking down] But you've got to. Come on. It can't end like this. You and me, all the things we've done. [beginning to cry] Axons, remember the Axons? And the Daleks? We're the only two left. I have no one else. REGENERATE!

[weakly] How about that? I win! Will it stop, Doctor? The drumming. Will it stop?

[worried] But I keep wondering...what about aging? 'Cause, I can't die, but I keep getting older...The odd little grey hair, you know? What happens if I live for a million years?

[amused] I really don't know.

[laughs] Okay, vanity, sorry. Yeah, can't help it. Used to be a poster boy when I was a kid, living on the Boeshane Peninsula. Tiny little place. I was the first one ever to be signed up for the Time Agency. They were so proud of me...The Face of Boe, they called me. [The Doctor and Martha look at him in shock]

[Offering his sonic screwdriver.] Need this?

No, I'm fine.

Oh, no, of course. You liked to go hands free, didn't you? Like, "Hey, I'm the Doctor. I can save the universe using a kettle and some string. And look at me, I'm wearing a vegetable!"

You know, I loved being you. Back when I first started, at the very beginning, I was always trying to be old and grumpy and important — like you do, when you're young. And then, I was you. And it was all dashing about and playing cricket and my voice going all squeaky when I shouted. I still do that, the voice thing, I got that from you. Oh, and the trainers. And... [puts his glasses on] snap! 'Cos you know what, Doctor? You were my Doctor.

To days to come.

All my love to long ago. [bows]