Tenth Doctor quotes from Doctor Who

[holding the Doctor and Donna at gunpoint] Can't say I've ever shot anyone before. Can't say I'm going to like it. But, err, it's not exactly a normal day, is it? Still!

Would you like a drink, sir?

[chuckles] I think hair loss is the least of my problems right now, thanks.

[moves in front of the Doctor and Donna] Please have a drink, sir.

[now struggling to speak] If... if you're going to stand in their way, I'll... shoot you too...

Please have a drink, sir.

[now scared] Have you... poisoned me?!

Natural Ood must never kill, sir.

What is that stuff?

Ood graft suspended in a biological compound, sir.

What the hell does that mean?!

[realizing] Oh dear...

TELL ME!

Funny thing, the subconscious. Takes all sorts of shapes. Came out in the redeye as revenge, came out in the rabid Ood as anger, and then there was patience. All that intelligence and mercy focused on Ood Sigma... How's that hair loss, Mr. Halpen?

What have you done?!

Oh, they've been preparing you for a very long time. And now you're standing next to the Ood Brain - Mr. Halpen, can you hear it? Listen!

[shaking] What have you...? I'm not...

[utterly shocked] They... they turned him into an Ood?!

Yep.

He's an Ood!

I noticed.

He has become Oodkind, and we will take care of him.

It's weird - being with you, I can't tell what's right and what's wrong anymore!

It's better that way. People who know for certain tend to be like Mr. Halpen.

Will you stay? There is room in the song for you.

Oh, I've, I've... sort of got a song of my own, thanks.

I think your song must end soon.

[unnerved by this] Meaning?

Every song must end.

And your name?

General Staal of the Tenth Sontaran Battle Fleet. "Staal The Undefeated!"

Oh, that's not a very good nickname. What if you do get defeated? "Staal The Not-Quite-So-Undefeated-Anymore-But-Never-Mind"?

He's like a potato. A baked potato, a talking baked potato...

Now, Ross, don't be rude. You look like a pink weasel to him.

Ross, just one question: If UNIT think that ATMOS is dodgy...

How come we've got it in the jeeps? Tell me about it. They're fitted as standard on all government vehicles. Can't get rid of them until we prove something's wrong.

Turn right.

Drives me around the bend.

[noticing they are indeed driving around a bend] Oh, nice one!

Timed that perfectly!

[seeing the Sontarans] My God... they're like trolls!

Yeah, loving the diplomacy, thanks. So, tell me, General Staal, since when did you lot become cowards?

How dare you!

Oh, that's diplomacy?!

Doctor, you impugn my honour!

Yeah, I'm really glad you didn't say "belittle", 'cos then I'd have a field day. But poison gas? That's the weapon of a coward, and you know it. Staal, you could blast this planet out of the sky, and yet you're sitting up above watching it die! Where's the fight in that, where's the honour?! Or... are you lot planning something else? Because this isn't normal Sontaran warfare. What are you lot up to?

A general would be unwise to reveal his strategy to the opposing forces.

[grinning] Ah, the war's not going so well, then! Losing, are we?

Such a suggestion is impossible!

What war?

The war between the Sontarans and the Rutans. It's been raging, far out in the stars, for fifty thousand years. Fifty thousand years of bloodshed. And for what?!

For victory! Sontar-ha! Sontar-ha! [the other Sontarans join his chanting]

Give me a break... [changes the channel to a cartoon]

Latest firing stock. What do you think, Doctor?

[wearing a gas mask] Are you my mummy?

[annoyed] If you could concentrate...!

I don't know where we're going, but my old hand's very excited about it!

I thought that was some bloody alien thing! You're telling me it's yours?!

Well...

It got cut off. He grew a new one!

You are completely impossible!

Not impossible. Just a bit unlikely.

It's taken a tissue sample, and extrapolated it. Some kind of accelerator?

Are you alright?

Well that, that's just... [Jenny appears out of the machine]

[handing Jenny a weapon] Arm yourself.

Where did she come from?

From me.

From you? How? Who is she?

Well, she's... Well, she's my daughter.

[smiling] Hello, Dad. [cocks gun]

[Stepping out of the TARDIS] Ah! Smell that air! Grass and lemonade! And a little bit of mint. Just a hint of mint. Must be the 1920s.

You can tell what year it is just by smelling?

Oh, yeah.

Or, maybe, that big vintage car coming up the drive gave it away.

It's a murder, a mystery and Agatha Christie!

So? Happens to me all the time.

I know but isn't that a bit weird? Agatha Christie didn't walk around surrounded by murders, not really. That's like meeting Charles Dickens surrounded by ghosts at Christmas!

Well...

Oh come on! It's not like we could drive across country and find Enid Blyton having tea with Noddy! Could we? Noddy's not real—is he? Tell me there's no Noddy!

There's no Noddy.

There's a giant... wasp!

What do you mean, a giant wasp?

I mean a wasp... that's GIANT!

[amused] It's only a silly little insect!

When I say "giant", I don't mean "big". I mean "FLIPPIN' ENORMOUS"!

Well... this has certainly been a most entertaining evening. Really, you can't believe any of this, surely, Lady Edizzon?

Lady who?

[agitated] Lady Edizzzzzon...

Little bit of buzzing there, Vicar?

Don't make me angry...!

Why? What happens then?

Dammit! You humanzzzzz, worshipping your tribal sky-godzzzz! I am so much more! That night, the universe exploded in my mind! I wanted to take what wazzzz mine! And, you, Agatha Christie, with your railway station bookstore romancezzzz, what'zzzz to stop me killing you?

[close to tears] Oh, my dear God, my child...!

What'zzzz to stop me killing you all?!

[trying to embrace him] Forgive me!

[pulling her back] No, no, Clemency, come back! Keep away. Keep away, my darling...!

[holds up the Firestone] No! No! No more murder! If my imagination made you kill, then my imagination will find a way to stop you, foul creature!

You said that this is the night Agatha Christie loses her memory!

Time is in flux, Donna! For all we know, this is the night Agatha Christie loses her life and history gets changed!

Spoilers!

What?

These books are from your future. If you read ahead, it will spoil all the surprises. Like peeping at the end.

Isn't travelling with you one big spoiler?

I try to keep you away from major plot developments. Which, to be honest, I seem to be very bad at.

Hang on, did you say expedition?

My expedition. I funded it.

Oh, you're not, are you? Tell me you're not archaeologists.

Got a problem with archaeologists?

I'm a time traveller. I point and laugh at archaeologists.