Dilbert quotes from Dilbert

Played by Daniel Stern · 32 quotes · page 3 of 3

Played by Daniel Stern

Most-quoted character in Dilbert: in 32 of its 51 quotes
Most scenes with: Dogbert (10), Wally (7), PHB (5)

Scenes with Dilbert 29

I could sue you both for making this a hostile workplace.

Dilbert

Ten minutes ago you beat a man senseless.

He was senseless before I beat him.

I'll bet you 20 dollars it doesn't feel good to give. [extends hand]

Dilbert

You are on, my cynical friend! [shakes Dogbert's hand]

Okay, to settle the question, give me 40 dollars and then tell me if it feels good.

Dilbert

That wouldn't feel good.

Okay, then give me 20 dollars because you lost the bet.

Dilbert [puzzled look]: Did I just make a bet that would cost me 20 dollars whether I won or not? [hands Dogbert a $20 bill]

Dogbert [taking the money]: Yes. But you also got to help someone more fortunate than yourself.