I can not endorse by my actions any system that places one human being in servitude to an other.
S1 E23Invasion Of The Buddy Snatcher
S2 E1Ringing Up Baby
Pete, she's having a baby !
Yeah but she's giving it to you !
No, she's not !
Hey how long after they have the kid do they keep making milk ?
Seek professional help you are ill.
We'll get her things and we'll go to the hospital.
Why she's not sick ?!
Dharma, people have babies in hospitals
Yeah, I know isn't it horrible ?
You're not going to take this girl to a hospital ?
AAby
Why, she's not sick !
Mother, maybe you could give her a hand ?
Oh I don't know anything about childbirth !
What do you mean, you had me ?
Oh Gregory don't be vulgar !
S2 E2It Takes a Village
Who are all this people ?
Oh they're gonna help us with the baby.
Why ?
Because it takes a village to raise a child Greg.
It does ?
And, I realised that my true destiny was to be the matriarch of a large powerfull family. Like the Kennedys. But not catholic.
So why didn't you had a lot of kids ?
I couldn't have any more after Gregory
Oh really I'm sorry... Why ?
It hurt too bad.
S2 E3Turn Turn Turn
Edward tell him.
EEdward
What happened to "shut up and drive"?
Oh please ! You mean your gonna get my grandson drunk and perform a surgery on him in the living room ?
You know, look frankly, Kitty I don't believe in circumcision either, but when it comes to penises Larry is very Jewish.
Picture how incredible would have been high school if your mother had sat you down and taught you how to please a woman ?
Thanks for that picture honey I may never have sex again...
S2 E16See Dharma Run
Are you sure you're ok ?
Yeah, I'm fine...
What's going on with you and that girl, what's her name, Eileene ?
There is no Eileen... I made her up
But... You said you met her parents, and that they hated you ?
They would have...
JJane
What's new?
My life is empty and has no meaning.
JJane
I asked you what's new.
Don't touch their money Dharma, it's a deal with the devil.
Are you calling us the devil ?
You only want her elected so she'll wage war to support your military-industrial complex !
San Francisco Board of Supervisors does not wage war...
Of course not, they send the young boys ! Where have all the flowers gone, answer me that !
EEd
You smoked them, Finklestein.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Dharma and Greg pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.