Greg quotes from Dharma and Greg

Greg

It's raining. We're not going to sleep in the rain, are we?

Dharma

No, silly, you don't sleep in the rain. You make love in the rain.

Greg

Ah. What if there's lightning?

Dharma

Then you get to be on top.

Larry

Next thing you know, she'll get a social security number.

Dharma

I got one.

Larry

What? Why?

Dharma

I opened a checking account.

Larry

Are you insane? You're on the grid now. They can find you anywhere.

Greg

Who's "they"?

Larry

You.

Dharma

Can you see me?

Greg

Yes.

Dharma

Oh, I totally misunderstood that groom-can't-see-the-bride-in-her-wedding-dress-thing.

Kitty

What are you doing here? You can't see her in her dress!

Dharma

See, that's what I thought!

Dharma

What's going on?

Greg

Well there is no pretty way to say this but my father picked up a woman who robbed him and left him tied to a bed in a hotel room...

Pete

Hey buddy, take it easy on him it can be pretty upsetting the first time.

Kitty

What is it ?

Greg

It's a duck.

That's not a duck, it's a goose.

Dharma

Yes, but captain, my captain, goose does not rhyme...

Pete

So it doesn't bother you that your wife is talking to Stuart about his...well you know ?

Greg

You can say impotence.

Pete

No you can't ! Cause if you say it, you think it and if you think it you got it !

Greg

Pete, she's having a baby !

Pete

Yeah but she's giving it to you !

Greg

No, she's not !

Pete

Hey how long after they have the kid do they keep making milk ?

Greg

Seek professional help you are ill.

Greg

We'll get her things and we'll go to the hospital.

Dharma

Why she's not sick ?!

Greg

Dharma, people have babies in hospitals

Dharma

Yeah, I know isn't it horrible ?

Kitty

You're not going to take this girl to a hospital ?

Why, she's not sick !

Greg

Mother, maybe you could give her a hand ?

Kitty

Oh I don't know anything about childbirth !

Greg

What do you mean, you had me ?

Kitty

Oh Gregory don't be vulgar !

Greg

Who are all this people ?

Abby

Oh they're gonna help us with the baby.

Greg

Why ?

Dharma

Because it takes a village to raise a child Greg.

Greg

It does ?

Dharma

Picture how incredible would have been high school if your mother had sat you down and taught you how to please a woman ?

Greg

Thanks for that picture honey I may never have sex again...

Greg

Are you sure you're ok ?

Pete

Yeah, I'm fine...

Greg

What's going on with you and that girl, what's her name, Eileene ?

Pete

There is no Eileen... I made her up

Greg

But... You said you met her parents, and that they hated you ?

Pete

They would have...

Larry

Don't touch their money Dharma, it's a deal with the devil.

Kitty

Are you calling us the devil ?

Larry

You only want her elected so she'll wage war to support your military-industrial complex !

Greg

San Francisco Board of Supervisors does not wage war...

Larry

Of course not, they send the young boys ! Where have all the flowers gone, answer me that !

You smoked them, Finklestein.