Dexter · Season 1
[at a crime scene] What are we looking at here?
I'm thinking two circus clowns dancing. You?
Nah, looks like a lobster. See the claws?
Why do bloodstains always look like crustaceans to you?
I like seafood.
Rorschach would say you have a hard time relating to others.
[voiceover] The three suicide sisters shared the same therapist, Dr. Emmett Meridian. He must be terrible at his job.
Meridian? Best thing that's ever happened to me ... so far. How about you? You finding him helpful?
I'm a sociopath; there's not much he can do for me.
Cute and funny. Let me guess, taken?
Girlfriend.
Lucky girl.
[voiceover] My therapist wants me to accept the things that are out of my hands. Tragically for him, he's not out of my hands.
[voiceover] I can't have sex with Rita. Every time I sleep with a woman, she sees me for what I really am. Empty. Then she's gone. But I don't want Rita to go, which means I have to deal with this. [pause] I can't kill Meridian yet – I need another therapy session.
I'm going to tell you something that I've never told anyone before.
Okay.
I'm a serial killer. [pause] Oh God. That feels ... so amazing to say out loud.
Well, you must be letting go, 'cause I've never heard you make a joke before.
I'm not joking; I kill people. Whoo. There it is again. [pause] You should try it. I know -- your big bad wolf has racked up a tidy little death toll.
[to Dr. Emmett Meridian in the kill room] You're awake. Shall we analyze your dreams?
I know the truth, because Harry always told me the truth. He had to, he was teaching me principles. A Code. He knew what I would become without it.
[Dexter calls Vince]
Masuka.
Hey, it's Dexter Morgan.
Dude, I know your last name.
Yeah, I need a favor. A DNA comparison.
I thought you were away for the weekend with the girlfriend. What, is she surfing the crimson wave?
Hello.
Hey babe, it's Paul. Just making sure dear Dexter is dealing decently with his dead dad. [laughs]
We're fine, everyone's fine. Alright, we'll see you on Monday.
Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute... Talk to me, you having fun? 'Cause I'm not.
Paul.
Would've if I could've taken my kids to circus. We'd be eating peanuts right now, stepping in elephant shit.
Paul, this is not helping my confidence in you.
Oh, I think you've got enough confidence for both of us.
Look, if you want to work towards building more visitation days and not less, you need to avoid this kind of behavior right here. Now I think you might just politely hang up.
OK, you're right. I'm sorry. You have a great weekend. [hangs up phone]
[answering Dexter's phone] Morgan here.
Wait, did I call the hot Morgan by mistake? Freudian. My subconscious has been exposed. [laughs]
Well, zip it up and tell me what's going on.
[eating cake] Hey, you want some? It's Kirk Wylocks' cake.
I had some, at Kirk's birthday. 10 days ago. See, if you have lunch every day with your boyfriend, you miss a thing or two around here.
Cake's still good; it's mocha, I think.
It started out vanilla.
Morgan, get your ass over here.
Ass en route.
Dexter, heads up. Bad in there.
Okay.
I'm serious.
Okay.
She's not kidding. It's your wet dream in there!
Okay ...
[Examining a jar of blood received in the mail]
Maybe you should open it.
What if there's an airborne toxin in here waiting to be released?
I've got to wash my hands. [rushes past]
So gullible. ... It's definitely blood.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Dexter pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
