Quark quotes from Deep Space Nine

Quark

I'm not going to preside over the demise of Ferengi civilization. Not me. The line has to be be drawn here! This far and no further!

Quark

It's like I said—the more things change, the more they stay the same.

Benjamin Sisko

It's really quite simple, Quark. You're not going to leave.

Quark

Not going to leave? But we're packed and ready to go.

Benjamin Sisko

Unpack.

Quark

I don't understand, Commander. Why would you want me to stay?

Odo

I'm curious myself. The man is a gambler and a thief.

Quark

I'm not a thief.

Odo

You are a thief!

Quark

If I am, you haven't been able to prove it for four years.

Quark

Commander, I've made a career out of knowing when to leave. And this provisional government is far too provisional for my taste. And when governments fall, people like me are lined up and shot.

Benjamin Sisko

There is that risk, but then, you are a gambler, Quark.

Odo

And a thief.

Benjamin Sisko

You know, Quark, that poor boy is about to spend the best years of his life in a Bajoran prison. I'm a father myself. I know what your brother must be going through. The boy should be with his family, not in some cold jail cell. Think about it. It's up to you.

Odo

You know, at first, I didn't think I was going to like him.

Kira Nerys

Quark, if you don't take your hand off my hip, you'll never be able to raise a glass with it again.

Quark

Oh, I love a woman in uniform.

Odo

I'll never understand the humanoid need to... couple.

Quark

You've never "coupled"?

Odo

I choose not to. Too many compromises. You want to watch the Karo-Net tournament, she wants to listen to music, so you compromise: you listen to music. You like Earth jazz, she prefers Klingon opera, so you compromise: you listen to Klingon opera. So here you were ready to have a nice night watching the Karo-net match, and you wind up spending an agonizing evening listening to Klingon opera.

Quark

Everyone wants a piece of the new frontier.

Odo

And I'm sure you've already tried to sell it to a few of them.

Odo

Unauthorized entry into crew quarters is a crime, Quark. You could have just asked to use the replicators.

Quark

There's an old Ferengi saying: "Never ask when you can take." How did you figure it out?

Odo

You claimed Rom fixed your replicators.

Quark

So?

Odo

Rom's an idiot. He couldn't fix a straw if it was bent.

Quark

You're right, Rom is an idiot. Remind me to get rid of him tomorrow.

Quark

Food...Dabo...drinks...money...hand...mine...give!

Benjamin Sisko

Well, Quark, I see even you couldn't weasel your way clear of this one.

Quark

You underestimate the Ferengi immune system, Commander. I'm merely here visiting my less-fortunate customers to make sure they're not faking the illness to avoid paying their bills.

Benjamin Sisko

No one could be that devious.

Quark

I am. [To patient] You...gold...owe...ME!

Odo

Quark, am I to believe that you're volunteering to help?

Quark

Who said anything about volunteering? We can haggle over price later.

Miles O'Brien

Hey, barkeep!

Quark

Don't call me “barkeep”! I'm not a “barkeep”! I'm your host, the proprietor, a sympathetic ear to the wretched souls that pass through these portals.

Miles O'Brien

And a man that will exploit any vice you may have. Two synthales, barkeep.

Odo

I have my eye on you, Quark.

Quark

[Jadzia Dax walks by] And I have my eye on you, Jadzia.

Quark

Have you forgotten the First Rule of Acquisition?

Rom

No, brother.

Quark

Then say it!

Rom

"Once you have their money, you never give it back."

Quark

The Sixth Rule of Acquisition expressly states—

"Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity." I certainly never have.

Quark

Not my ear! Please!

Lwaxana Troi

Yes, I know where it hurts the most, you little troll.