Quark quotes from Deep Space Nine

Quark

Greed is eternal.

Quark

(holding the Grand Nagus' new book) You rewrote the Rules of Acquisition?

Quark

All I ask is a tall ship— And a load of contraband to fill her with.

Quark

All hu-mons look alike.

Quark

You know what I like about Klingon stories? Nothing. Lots of people die and nobody makes a profit.

Quark

You've either got to tell her how you feel, or forget about her and get on with your life.

Quark

[as a jingle for his bar] Come to Quark's, Quark's is fun, come right now, don't walk, run!

Quark

I'm not trying to rescue you, I'm taking you along as emergency rations. If you die, I'm going to eat you.

Quark

Twenty-eight million people dead? Couldn't we just... wound some of them?

Quark

All I know is that any marriage where the female is allowed to speak and wear clothing is doomed to failure.

Quark

[drunk and miserable] I tried. I tried my best to run my establishment under this occupation. But you know what? It's no fun. I don't like Cardassians. They're mean and arrogant. And I can't stand the Jem'Hadar. They're creepy. They just stand there like statues, staring at you. That's it. I don't want to spend the rest of my life doing business with these people. I want the Federation back! I want to sell root beer again!

Quark

Thank you, Captain. Thank you for restoring my faith in the 98th Rule of Acquisition: "Every man has his price."

Quark

Let me tell you something about hu-mons, nephew. They're a wonderful, friendly people as long as their bellies are full and their holosuites are working, but take away their creature comforts, deprive them of food, sleep, sonic showers, put their lives in jeopardy over an extended period of time and those same, friendly, intelligent, wonderful people will become as nasty and as violent as the most bloodthirsty Klingon. You don't believe me? Look at those faces. Look in their eyes.

Quark

Rule of Acquisition 125: “You can't make a deal if you're dead.”

Quark

[talking to Odo about the distrust for Changelings] We humanoids are the product of millions of years of evolution. Our ancestors learned the hard way that what you don't know might kill you. They wouldn't have survived if they hadn't jumped back when they encountered a snake coiled in the muck. And now millions of years later, that instinct is still there.It's genetic. Our tolerance for other lifeforms doesn't extend beyond the two arm, two leg variety. I hate to break it to you, but when you're in your natural state, you're more than our poor old genes can handle.