Miles O'Brien quotes from Deep Space Nine

Miles O’Brien

Bloody Cardassians! I just got the damned thing fixed.

Miles O'Brien

You're drinking too much of this stuff, O'Brien—

Miles O'Brien

I need to stay alert, O'Brien.

Chief Miles O'Brien

My mother always said, 'If you try to combine talking and eating, you'll end up doing neither very well.'

Chief Miles O'Brien

(looking at two Odos, one is real and the other a Changeling imposter) I have more important things to do than play "Choose the Changeling"!

Miles O'Brien

I hate prototypes.

Miles O'Brien

Sir, have you ever served with any Bajoran women?

Benjamin Sisko

No. Why?

Miles O'Brien

I was just wondering, sir.

Miles O’Brien

That’s the Prefect’s office up there.

Benjamin Sisko

So all others have to look up with respect. Cardassian architecture.

Kira Nerys

Red alert. Shields up.

Miles O’Brien

What shields?

Picard

You know, yesterday, I called down here and I asked for you without thinking. It won't be quite the same.

Miles O'Brien

It's just a transporter room, sir.

Miles O'Brien

Hey, barkeep!

Quark

Don't call me “barkeep”! I'm not a “barkeep”! I'm your host, the proprietor, a sympathetic ear to the wretched souls that pass through these portals.

Miles O'Brien

And a man that will exploit any vice you may have. Two synthales, barkeep.

Die with honor, O'Brien.

Miles O'Brien

Die with honor, Tosk.

Q

Do I know you?

O'Brien

O'Brien, from the Enterprise.

Q

Enterprise, ah yes! Weren't you one of the little people?

Julian Bashir

Well, your sense of humour seems normal enough.

Miles O'Brien

I don't have a sense of humour.

Julian Bashir

Cough. [O'Brien coughs] How's the sex life?

Miles O'Brien

I don't have a sense of humour.

Didn't you bring the holocam?

Miles O'Brien

Was I supposed to?

You said you were going to.

Miles O'Brien

Did I?

Last night, when we were going over the list in bed.

Miles O'Brien

Not me. I was dead as soon as my head hit the pillow.

You talked to me for a half hour.

Miles O'Brien

No, there must have been someone else in bed with us.

Miles O'Brien

I've been told that I've already been charged, indicted, convicted, and sentenced. What would I need with a lawyer?

Kovat

Ah, Mister O'Brien, if it seems immodest of me, I apologize, but the role of Public Conservator is key to the productive functioning of our courts. I'm here to help you concede the wisdom of the state, to prepare you to accept the inevitable with equanimity. There is an old Cardassian expression: “Confession is good for the soul.” But it's also good for the populace to see people like you confess. It makes them feel better about themselves. It makes their lives more bearable.

Miles O'Brien

So that's what this is all about? Make the people of Cardassia feel better, huh?

Kovat

No, no, no, but that's not a bad side effect.