Jane Canary quotes from Deadwood

Joanie Stubbs

Would you like a drink?

Jane

Yes. But my opening position is no.

Charlie Utter

Seeing you know about losing friends, you might be a good person to go on and talk to her.

How does standing in my own puke prompt you to volunteer me to give a condolence call?

Charlie Utter

Why fucking wouldn't it, Jane? You like being situated how you are?

Charlie Utter

New saloon in the camp, Jane?

I know that's some clever opening gambit to culminate in breaking my balls.

Charlie Utter

Just saying I checked the usual spots 'cause I wanted to say goodbye before I left camp, so in case you go ahead and fucking die...

Goodbye, Charlie, goodbye. Have a good fucking trip. Shut the fuck up! 'Cause it so happens, when you return, if no trees of animals killed you, that you were fucking driving crazy with criticism, you will find I've moved out of this shitbox, so I don't have to fucking embarrass you or fucking have you hovering over me like the ugliest fucking nurse in the fucking universe.

Mose Manuel

Miss Stubbs holds what I'm doing for honest.

Jane Canary

She no more needs a watchman than she does a fucking balloonist! And why should the young of this camp have to scurry past your man-toad figure to receive an education?

Mose Manuel

The time they come for schoolin', I'm in back and out of sight!

Jane Canary

Exposin' them to being terrified only when they use the privy!

Mose Manuel

Go get your load on, Jane!

Jane Canary

Do not instruct me how to spend my day! Or to itemize for you my crowded itinerary! [Pause] You tub of blubber and guts!

Jane

Get out of my fucking light.

Mose

It's me.

Jane

Who is me? The fucking eclipse?

Mose

Mose Manuel.

Jane

Oh, really? I thought it -- it was Giganto, the runaway circus elephant.

Mose

Miss Stubbs has been looking for you. Those kids need chaperoning to the new schoolhouse, Jane. [Jane turns away and puts her hands to her ears, shutting her eyes.] Get up and walk them kids.

Jane

Okay, Giganto! Don't tusk me to death with your tusks. [steadies herself, sheathing her gun] How long do I have to assemble myself?

Mose

They'll be ready to go in a few minutes.

Jane

Shut up.