Dan Dority quotes from Deadwood

Calamity Jane

Is it true? Indians killin' white people?

Dan

That's the sewer mouth that follows Hickok around.

Calamity Jane

Why are we standin' here?

Ridin' out tomorrow, daybreak.

Calamity Jane

Oh, really? Tomorrow. What's your fuckin' rush?! I'm goin' now. Even without Bill. Even without Charlie. I know the road to Spearfish. And I don't drink where I'm the only fuckin' one with balls!

Johnny

[coming down the stairs] Hey, Al. Any reason I can't share with Dan the, uh, proceedings of the talk me and you just had about me, uh, takin' over for Persimmon Phil?

Al Swearengen

Yeah, keep Dan in the dark.

Dan

Hey, Johnny.

Johnny

Dan.

Dan

What's new?

Seth Bullock

I don't care if the whole U.S. Cavalry walks in here, you don't want to pour another drink. You just want to listen to me 'cause if the man doesn't die whose face I just broke, he's gonna go to New York City and tell Brom Garret's people it breaks his heart to say so but his daughter had their son murdered. He'll tell 'em, knowing how he does, they won't want their son's rightful property in the hands of the woman who killed him. He'll swear to what he heard from her own lips. And those society people in New York City, who live with their heads up their asses anyway, will believe him. And whoever they send out here may take up to fifteen minutes before they decide that since you were involved in the transaction first to last. It must have been you and your boss she hired to push her idiot husband off the cliff. Of course, they'll be wrong about Mrs. Garret, but they'll be right as rain about you two cocksuckers. You tell him all that upstairs.

Dan Dority

If he don't die.

Seth Bullock

If he don't die. I don't think I killed him.

Dan Dority

Just so I understand you, if he don't die, you're saying the man's luck don't have to hold out. Now, that's the message you want me to take upstairs.

Seth Bullock

I don't swim in that shit.

Dan Dority

You oughta pin that (sheriff's badge) on your chest. You're hypocrite enough to wear it.

Seth Bullock

You just tell him.

Silas Adams

For what it's worth, Yankton's afraid of Bullock.

Al Swearengen

Well, say no more. Refrain from explaining yourself.

Silas Adams

Till Congress approves, nothing's to say the Hills get made part of Dakota. Far as that, Montana's got pull Dakota don't. Montana's got silver for bribes.

Al Swearengen

Thievin' Indian agent's all fucking Dakota's got.

Silas Adams

It ain't fucking fresh money to the game.

Dan Dority

And how does that argue for Bullock living or dying?

Silas Adams

Yankton thinks Bullock's Montana's Man.

Al Swearengen

On what basis?

Silas Adams

He was favorite of a judge in Helena that wanted him in politics. They figure he's a stalking horse here for the judge's interests.

Dan Dority

Then Yankton's got their head up their fucking asses if they think Bullock's anybody's man. Hell, Bullock himself don't even know whose man he is.

Al Swearengen

In the thoroughfare, as I readied to stab the cocksucker, did you have no impulse to hint at this?

Silas Adams

The moment didn't seem right.

Al Swearengen

Over time, your quickness with a cocky rejoinder must have gotten you many punches in the face.

Silas Adams

Depends what you call, 'many'.

Dan Dority

There's another fucking clever one.

Al Swearengen

To Yankton's thinking, would Bullock dead curb Montana's interests or incite them to a stronger expression?

Silas Adams

I don't know.

Al Swearengen

If he's spoiling to mix it with us further, they may get a chance to find out.

Al

[after waking up from his "coma"] Did you fuck me when I was out?

Dan

Hell, no.

Al

Then quit looking at me like that.

Al Swearengen

What happened to Tolliver illustrated till the race is fucking finished, never mark the fucking wager paid. Wakes up this mornig in bed with the fucking Hearst combine, knowing he's got us by the balls. Whatever sick fucking business that geologist has transacted, you can bet he had his wrists in it up...

Dan Dority

Tolliver.

Al Swearengen

Tolliver, yeah.. before, after, and in the fucking middle too, thinking he's got the fucking edge, which is the right fucking move. Underwriting whatever sick business that geologist was involved in guarantees his fucking position, but what fucking happens, Dan?

Dan Dority

Fucks himself up the ass.. Tolliver.

Swearengen

No mean feat! Yet how often we bring it off.

Dan

Sometimes I hear you speakin' in here when I know there's nobody in here but you.

Al

You have not yet reached the age, Dan, have you, where you're moved to utterance of thoughts properly kept silent?

Dan

Been known to mutter.

Al

Not the odd mutter. Habitual fuckin' vocalizing of thoughts best kept to yourself. I will confide further. Lately... I talk to this package: the severed rotting head I paid bounty on last year of that murdered fuckin' Indian.

Dan

I'm older, and I'm much less friendly to fuckin' change.

Al Swearengen

Change ain't lookin' for friends. Change calls the tune we dance to.

Silas Adams

I just.. I feel shunted aside or the like, not involved as much as previous.

Al Swearengen

Adams, you were busy with Star.

Silas Adams

That you sent me off to see.

Al Swearengen

Thinking you'd be back before time for the murders.

Silas Adams

So it wasn't like a decision you made to have the murders while I was signing the papers?

Al Swearengen

You've no idea how fuckin' badly you're boring me. [Knock at the door] Yeah?

Dan Dority

That captain's brought over another envelope.

Al Swearengen

[To Silas] Won't you see with me what this might portend?

Johnny Burns

What's Al doing?

Dan Dority

Like I fuckin' know.

Silas Adams

If we was trailing water, we might get took for ducklings.

Johnny

If it's gettin' to go wrong, Dan, you just drop flat.

Dan

What the fuck did you just say?

Johnny

Drop flat if it's going wrong, and I'll blow his fucking head off

Dan

You do and it'll be the last goddamn thing you do on this fucking earth. Going wrong is not the end of fucking things, Johnny. Fuck no! I have come back from plenty of shit that looked like it was going wrong.

Al Swearengen

That they're armed and awake don't have to mean they're fucking hired.

Dan Dority

Yeah, and when I feel a shit coming on I'll remember to drop my pants.

Al Swearengen

The obvious merits utterance. Character is fucking pertinent.

Dan Dority

If I'm to go, I'd as soon get started before the darkness.

Al Swearengen

Going means the darkness is upon us.