Mason quotes from Dead Like Me

Mason

Are you going to finish those hashbrowns?

Roxy

Probably not.

Mason

Fucking bloody hell.

Roxy

I'm outta here.

Mason

Did you see that? I mean just because I wanted some of her hashbrowns.

Rube

I was there.

Mason

I've never seen such violence over such small potatoes.

Rube

Oh, that was almost clever.

Mason

What was almost clever, Rube?

Rube

The thing about the hashbrowns being small potatoes.

Mason

I don't get it...because hashbrowns are small potatoes.

Rube

Never mind.

Rube

You know why people play the shell game?

Mason

Because they think they can beat the odds.

Rube

Wrong. They think they can beat you. They think they're smarter than you. [pause] In this case, they're right.

Mason

I'm smarter than you think.

Rube

You smart enough to play stupid?

Mason

I am so smart, I'm practically retarded.

Mason

Roxy, I've never flown before. I'm a bit nervous, all right?

Roxy

Well, congratulations, baby! Drink up. Buckle up. And don't fuck it up.

What just happened?

Mason

Oh, I'm afraid you are D-E-D…

No, that's D-E-A-D.

Mason

I was joking!

Rube

Hey! How'd it go?

Mason

G-R-E-A-T.

George

It was a spelling bee.

Rube

[to Mason] Seriously, how'd it go?

Mason

F-A-N-T-A-S-T-I-C.

Rube

How do I get it to stop?

Mason

Well, go on, Georgie, tell him.

George

Well, as far as senseless, brutal deaths go, I say it went beautifully.

Mason

Yeah! So maybe a little simple "thank you" is in order, instead of your constant irritation, Ruby. Maybe a little bit of G-R-A-T… uh… t… i-i-tude, tude.

Rube

For you, and you.

Mason

Where's Roxy?

Rube

She has got a personal day.

Mason

Well, why don't I have a personal day?

Rube

Because you're an F-U-C-K-U-P.

Mason

"Fuck up" has two words.

George

Actually, "fuck-up" is a hyphenate.

George

Well, it is!

Mason

You know, this morning, when you said you spent your last day on Earth, your very, very last day on Earth, stapling?

George

Filing.

Mason

My God, that's even worse. You said you regretted it, didn't you?

George

Yeah of course. Who gives a shit?

Mason

My God, I give a shit. Rube tells us to be on the periphery. To keep away from...things. To keep our distance from...life. Our family...

George

Yeah?

Mason

God, it is nonsense. You get close, Georgie, you get close to everybody that ever meant anything to you.

George

Have you been drinking?

Mason

Of course I've bloody been drinking. And it's last call. And you gotta...you gotta drink up while you still can.