Joey Potter quotes from Dawson's Creek

Joey

I got asked out today.

Audrey

[fakes a gasp] Of course, you said no.

Joey

Of course.

Audrey

Because you're long-suffering and insane and fixated on Dawson.

Joey

How dysfunctional do you think I am?

Audrey

About one lithium pill short of 'Girl Interrupted' status.

Joey

It is painfully obvious that the only reason you don't like his book is because you think it's affecting your mojo with the ladies.

Well, that shows how little you know me. I have no mojo to speak of.

Joey

I think you have a little.

Pacey

If something happened between me and Audrey, it would be a horrible, terrible, awful thing, right?

Joey

Pacey, you're an idiot.

Pacey

Ok. If one more person calls me an idiot, I'm really gonna start feeling bad about myself.

Joey

Don't you think I'd prefer you hooking up with someone amazing like Audrey rather than some random ditz who's name you can't even remember in the morning?

Joey

[to Audrey] I love you. [to Pacey] I love you. I love you both in the best, simplest way, and all I care about is that you guys are happy.

Audrey

You're like... giving us permission?

Joey

You don't need my permission. I'm giving you my blessing... for what it's worth.

Are you a virgin?

Joey

[pause] Can you be any more of a dick right now?

Yeah, I could shoot you.

Joey

My tenth birthday, my father takes me to the park, and if you knew Mike Potter, you'd know that was a pretty big deal. I mean, he never really had time for stuff like that... but he took me, and we played for hours... jungle gym, swings, everything... and I was so happy. He was so popular with the people, and... everyone seemed to know him, and... I was so proud to be his daughter. I mean, he was, like, the Mayor or something. It wasn't until years later that I realized he was dealing drugs to them.

Heartwarming story. What's your point?

Joey

My point is... my dad did a lot of crappy stuff. I mean, this is the guy who cheated on my mom with a cocktail waitress while she was dying of cancer. He let me and my sister down time and time again, so many times and in so many ways, it became funny. But you know what? That day at the park... it still goes down in the books as my favorite day ever.

Well, the point is, I love my wife. I love my daughter, but... I am who I am. Nothing's gonna change that. I mean, you wanna know why people do the things that they do. There is no why, sweetheart. They just do.

Joey

That's crap. If you really loved your daughter, if you really loved her, you wouldn't do those things.

Joey

Your daughter is, uh, really beautiful. It's a shame she has such a dickhead for a dad.

Well, sounds like your dad was a bit of a dickhead, too. Look how well you turned out.

Joey

You don't know anything about me.

True, but from what I can tell, you're pretty smart... and funny... and reasonably hot, and I imagine most of your friends like having you around... most of the time, when you're not smartin' off with that little mouth.

Did my daddy do something bad to you?

Joey

[pause] No. He did something really nice for me.

He did?

Joey

Yeah. I was crossing the street, and I wasn't paying any attention, and there was this car coming, and it was gonna hit me, but then your daddy came out and pushed me out of the way. He saved my life tonight.

[Turns to her crying mother] Did you hear that, mama? Daddy's a hero.

[Mouths silently to Joey] Thank you.

Joey

So what is the best ending in all of literature? Don't say Ulysses. Everyone says Ulysses.

That's easy. Sentimental Education by Flaubert.

Joey

And what happens?

Nothing, really. Just two old friends sitting around remembering the best thing that never happened to them.

Joey

How do you remember something that never happened?

Fondly. You see, Flaubert believed that anticipation was the purest form of pleasure... and the most reliable. And that while the things that actually happen to you would invariable disappoint, the things that never happened to you would never dim. Never fade. They would always be engraved in your heart with a sort of sweet sadness.

Charlie

I think I dreamt this once.

Joey

What are you talking about?

Charlie

You, me, a big backseat.

Joey

This backseat has no implications.

Charlie

Hey, I didn't say that it did.

Joey

This is strictly business.

Charlie

All my backseat transactions are.

Charlie

I was hoping that maybe you might let me sit next to you, and then, possibly, if I just sat there, then, maybe... whatever happened to make you like me, well, maybe it could happen again.

Joey

Don't get your hopes up.

Charlie

[chuckles] Too late.

Joey

You're thinking that I'm the most attractive and formidable woman you've ever been in the same room with. Though you're terrified of rejection, you like me and you want to take me out on a proper date.

Charlie

I do wanna ask you out. Very much. Very, very much. And, you know, you... [chuckles] ...you... you make me nervous.

Joey

I know I do.

Pacey

So this is spring break, it doesn't really look like the brochures.

Audrey

Hey. I provided the house, you people we supposed to bring on the fun. There are some pizzas.

Joey

We could rent some movies...

Pacey

...or play strip poker.

NO!

Pacey

Come on, its not like I haven't seen you all naked before. Ok, ok. We'll rent movies.

Charlie

Look, I would be happy to stop calling. Just tell me where you are.

Joey

I'm in your dreams, Charlie Todd.

Charlie

See, now, wait a second. That sounded suspiciously like flirting to me.

Joey

Maybe... and this is what a dial tone sounds like. [Hangs up on him]