Could we move to another part of the castle? I'm running out of things to hide behind!
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
[Dave questions why Strom has stopped trying to slay him.]
Obviously you've never touched a monkey. It's kind of addicting.
And thus did Fang learn, that even the greatest hero can be a-
Weenie.
[Dave looks at the new card added to the Famous Barbarian Trading Cards collection.]
"Dave the Hider Behind Things"? Oh, that's not a flattering picture at all.
[Some bugs are telling scary stories about Fang, and are interrupted by Fang.]
BBugs
The great destructor! [he runs away]
I squash you all! [laughing]
[Dave reads a letter from his parents.]
Dear kids, we're still busy fighting evil, but we'll be home soon. Your mother says the demon monkeys may attack but I don't think- egad, they're here. Ieee, argh, ow, ow, ow, ow, yargh, ock, ye, ye, ye, ye, ye, scree, erk. Love, mom and dad.
We can teach Fang to be way, way, way more civilized with this: [holds up book.] A Young Lady's Guide to being Way, Way, Way More Civilized.
What was I thinking? Making Fang civilized is hopeless!
Yes, because we've been missing the key ingredient: bribery!
Fizzberries: a treat so beloved by Fang, that she would chew off her own leg to get to them!
[Fang, after becoming civilized, decides to clothe all of the naked animals in Udrogoth.]
It'll be even better once I get dresses on all these fish!
Here, little ladybug. I made you a dress!
LLadybug
Nice material! Is it chiffon?
[Fang has made a moat for Udrogoth Castle and turned it into a bug-feeding trough]
They're in my pants!
Bugle Beetles! These terrible insects are famous for their unstoppable wrath!
DBDumb Beetle
We're gonna smash things up good, huh? [Chuckles.]
DBDumber Beetle
We're gonna smash things up real good! [Laughs.]
They're also famous for being about as smart as the stuff you scoop out of a pumpkin.
[The Royal Family sees the invading Bugle Beetle herd.]
I'll go get bug spray. I think there's some in northern China!
[Osiwdge tries to defeat a Bugle Beetle with his magic.]
Hold your horses, bigfella, I gotta check the owner's manual for this wand. Ah, here it is. Destroy: see obliterate. Obliterate: see Destroy. Dang it!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Dave the Barbarian pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.