Alec quotes from Dark Angel

Logan

Don't you people ever knock?

Max

What are you doing here?

Alec

Looking for you. The fact is, I should be with my own kind. Was wondering if you hooked up with any of the others.

Max

You looking to start a support group?

Alec

It's just 'cause she's hot, you know.

Logan

What is?

Alec

Everything. Everything she gets away with. You honestly think we'd be down here in this moldy dump looking for God-knows-what if she were ugly?

Logan

We're down here to give Max a hand.

Max

Read my lips, pretty boy. Get a life, get a job, and stop sticking your nose into mine. Don't make me kick your ass!

Alec

You know, this whole tough-chick act thing is really unbecoming. "I'm gonna bounce you on your ass. I'm gonna smack your bitch head." It's so unfeminine.

Max

Guess we're just gonna have to get their attention, then.

Alec

Please tell me you're gonna get naked.

Max

Can we concentrate on coming up with a plan?

Alec

I'm thinking.

Max

You're talking.

Alec

I can do both.

Max

I doubt that.

Alec

Well, you just lost your tip.

Max

Can't you see I'm getting ready for a bath?

Alec

Funny, women and water. Seems to be the theme of my evening.

Alec

Scored a sweet deal on some ham-hocks, my buyer fell through on me, you want em?

Joshua

I... uh don't have any money.

Alec

Aw, that's alright, take it as an 'I'm sorry for trying to kill you' that one time

An artist burns bright for an instant, and then extinguishes like a scrape of phosphorus.

Alec

Well, call it his Blue Period. It’ll be worth a fortune.

I'm off to the frozen north. I don't know who to trust. I'm not happy about this, Logan.

Logan

Well, I'm not happy about it, either.

Alec

Well, if she's not happy, and you're not happy, then I'm not happy. Max, are you happy?

Logan

Shut up!

He told Marina that he loved her. And the next week he was catting around with Little Suki on the side.

Alec

I never said I loved her. That is a cheap ploy and I don't go there. I said that she was a unique creature unlike any other.

"A unique creature unlike any other." Man, I'm totally stealing it.

Alec

Oh, it works like a charm. I mean, you can literally watch them melt.

Max

Please, you're making me sick.

Alec

Max, can you pass the ketchup, please?

Max

You mean this unique ketchup unlike any other?

Max

You know, we don't always get along.

Alec

Nicely understated. Barkeep!

Max

But if you're in some kind of trouble and you need my help, then you should ask now and not wait till it's too late and everything's all messed up like you usually do.

Max

Got word from this fence I know. There's a collector willing to pay top dollar for Star Wars: Episode VII. After the Pulse, they shut down production. Apparently this is the only footage that exists.

Alec

Is that the one where Captain Kirk dies?

Mia

Logan, I think there's something Alec wants to say to you.

Alec

Yeah, Logan. I just wanted to say that I understand why Max admires you so much. Sometimes I wish I had more of a purpose in life.

Mia

Logan, is there something you want to say to Alec?

Logan

Well, it's just that sometimes I wish I was more of a free spirit and it must be nice to be a happy-go-lucky sociopath. I kind of envy you.

Mia

Oh! Group hug! [they hug]

Max

What the hell is going on over there?

Do my ears deceive me? Monty Cora rides again?

Alec

I'm back, baby.

Oh! Oh! Lovely! Do you know how long I've been waiting to hear this? This right here -- magnificence. Shirtless muscle rippling, sweat flying off him like a thousand points of light.

Alec

He's one of my bigger fans.

You're my hero. I live to serve you. I had this dream about you the other night. You were this Roman gladiator and you slew barbarians and Medusa-like women and I was your tiny little valet. I wiped your sword clean after every sweet victory. I rubbed your tired, beautiful golden muscles--

Alec

Hot run! Fourth and Main.