Dan and Chris in “The Dentist”

[on the phone] No, you shut up! Shut up! What are you, stupid? I said shut up! Okay, bye, Grandma.

[comes to Dan's apartment] Hey, Dan.

I thought you were ditching me for Elise today.

She's building a code-breaking supercomputer for the NSA.

To spy on Finland?

I don't think so.

What a waste of time.

Elise's birthday's coming up. You got that 20 bucks you owe me?

Make her buy her own present!

Yeah, that's what we did last year. You said you'd pay me back this time.

[shows Chris a teddy bear] You'll have to speak with my attorney.

Dan, this is not a legal matter. I'm not suing you. I just want my money.

[shows Chris a dental teddy bear] Well, then you'll have to speak with my accountant.

Hey, that's a cute bear. Where'd you get it?

The last time I was at the dentist's. [Chris takes the Dan's dental bear away] I had a root canal. They gave me that bear to make me stop screaming. Didn't work.

Don't you have to have your permanent teeth before they can give you a root canal?

That's what I said! But the dentist bamboozled my parents with his fancy medical jargon.

Tell you what, I'll take this bear, give it to Elise, and we'll call it even.

[grabs his bear away from Chris] No! Give it back! Let go! This bear has sentimental value!

This bear is payment of debt! [Dan and Chris pull the bear together until the bear breaks Dan's tooth] Dan, your tooth! You're going to have to go to the-

DENTIIIIIIIIIIIIST!!!