Your probably wondering why I'm wearing face paint and attacking you with a plastic toy hatchet?
Oh, is it "Put on Face Paint and Attack Your Best Friend with a Hatchet Day" already?
That's not till January. It's Dismemberfest.
Ah, the horror film festival.
You got it. Slasher Cats starts at noon tomorrow, followed by Eek! The Murderer.
I can't go this year, Dan. Elise's parents are taking us on a camping trip.
You have got to be kidding me.
Hey, I'm not happy about it either. Although I must admit I don't like those movies anyway.
But it's no fun going to slasher movies by myself.
Sorry, but I have an opportunity to finally get Don and Elise Sr. to like me.
When are you going to learn they are your in-laws-- natural enemies, like sharks and robots?
Anyway, we're going up to Lake Sequester - for the weekend, and-
Oh, you won't go to slasher movies, but you'll go there?
Why not? Are you kidding me? It's where the Hockey Mask Maniac ran amuck 10 years ago. It's the basis for the goriest, bloodiest, most iconic slasher movie of them all, The Campground Chain Saw Unpleasantness.
Well, I'm not leaving until you agree to- [Chris lifts him] Hey, let me go! Unhand me, I say!
I'm going on the family camping trip, Dan, and that's final. [leaves]
FAMILY CAMPING TRIIIIIIIIIIIIIP!!!!!!!!!
[opens the window and finds Dan outside] Perfect timing.
If we leave now, we can still catch Stabbo the Clown. Now climb out of the window, and let's go.
I am not going with you! I am going to Lake Sequester!
To be hunted by a chain saw-wielding maniac.
They caught him years ago.
You're just trying to give me nightmares.
Look, this whole insane quest of yours is pointless. Your in-laws will never respect you.
I just hate to see you expending such an enormous amount of effort in what is ultimately a futile pursuit. It's not healthy.
Have a good weekend, Dan.
[Dan yells after Chris closes the window on his fingers]
[Chris, Elise, and Elise's parents are heading to camp]
So this should be a good time of year to spot bears.
Isn't spotting bears a bad thing when you're camping?
Don't tell me you're scared of bears.
I am, actually. Generally speaking, I'm afraid of anything that can eat me. Bears, sharks, cannibals.
Stop worrying about bears. We just got to make sure we hang our food from a tree every night.
If you think you can make it 10 hours without a snack.
They're tagging the bears this summer.
Like spray-painting them? That seems mean.
No, they're luring them in with artificial hormones and fitting them with radio transponders.
EElise
It's to track their migratory patterns.
Speaking of feral creatures, how's your friend Dan?
[while on his way to camp] The trick to any successful campaign, Mr. Mumbles, is the element of surprise. [Mr. Mumbles meows] I think it was Sun Tzu who said- [the truck horn honks as Mr. Mumbles screeches]
I only ask because he seems to be following us.
EElise
Oh, you've got to be kidding me. I'll handle this.
[Dan and Elise both stop their cars in the middle of the road]
What was that? Are you trying to kill me?
Obviously, I'm sneaking up on you. Just give me what is rightfully mine, and I'll go.
What do you want exactly?
I don't know. Sounds reasonable.
Don, stop it. We are not giving him Chris, even if we'd like to.
Dan, this is really unacceptable.
It's kind of your fault. He's your friend.
If you'd just come with me to Dismemberfest.
EElise
Okay, let's go. Dan, you are not invited on this camping trip, don't follow.
Your not the boss of me, lady. I go where I plea- Hey! Is that my car battery? I'LL PUT YOU ON THE LIST! I'LL PUT ALL OF YOU ON THE LIST!
[heads to Marvin's Pickins with Mr. Mumbles and puts on his burglar outfit] Okay, this will just take a second. [looks at the door] That's strange. Oh, well. Gift horse and all that. First stop, sporting goods. [he grabs a mask] Next, landscaping supplies. No chainsaw? Why doesn't anything ever go right for me? [Mr. Mumbles meows] Was that sarcasm, Mr. Mumbles? Well, I guess this will have to do. Just need some overalls, and we're done.
