Curb Your Enthusiasm · Season 6, Episode 8
“The N Word” · Season 6, Episode 8
In this episode: Larry David (3), Jeff Greene (3), Susie Greene (1)
[Auntie Rae] went over the appropriate amount of time that I can have human contact without getting aroused. I only have five seconds. After that, it's out of my control.
Not me. I've got discipline down there. I have a very discerning penis—very discerning.
My penis is an animal.
Really? Just out of control. It's wild.
It's a feral tiger, yeah.
What did you say? What did you just say?! What did you just FIX YOUR MOUTH TO SAY?!
No, no...
You just used THE MOST VILE WORD IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE! HOW DARE YOU?!
No, I was...
IN FRONT OF ME?! YOU ARE DESPICABLE! I CAN'T STAND PEOPLE LIKE YOU! YOU BALD SON OF A BITCH!!!! I HAVE TO FACE THIS KIND OF WRETCHED FOOLISHNESS!
[looks in a mirror and realizes he is bald] OH, MY GOD! NO!! NO!!!
[rushes in] What?!
OH, MY GOD!!!! LOOK AT ME!
What the hell happened to you?!
What happened?!
What happened, Nurse?!
Dr. Page accidentally shaved Mr. Green's head...
Shaved my head?!
Wait a minute. "Accidentally"?
He operated my head?
No, the procedure was cancelled. The operation is going to be... rescheduled.
So he didn't have the surgery?!
No.
Oh, you look horrible! Jeff!
[enters the room] Nurse, would you please excuse us? [the nurse leaves the room]
Doctor, what the hell happened?! Look at him!
What happened?! What happened?!
Mr. and Mrs. Green, I am so sorry. I was coming to see you in the operating room, and I had just been victimized by a terrible incident in the cafeteria. And so I came to the operating room, and I was so angered, and I was upset, and I was confused, and I mistakenly shaved your head, for which I'm so sorry.
A mistake is correct! You took it out on his head?!
Well, I can explain. I'm leaving the cafeteria, and I'm walking past a table, and this horrible man uses the most vile word in the English language to refer to a black person, and I went into a blind rage, and I left there, and I went to the operating room, and made this terrible mistake, for which I'm so sorry.
Do you know who this man was?
I have no idea who he was. He was just a despicable bald man.
Bald?
Yes.
Did he, by any chance, wear glasses?
Yes... As a matter of fact, he was wearing glasses. And it was awful. It was just absolutely awful.
[just snubbed due to his baldness] This blows. How do you deal with it?
Well, you know, you just get used to it. I get support from my bald brothers.
There's, like, meetings?
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