Jeff, Susie and others in “The N Word”

Jeff

[looks in a mirror and realizes he is bald] OH, MY GOD! NO!! NO!!!

Susie

[rushes in] What?!

Jeff

OH, MY GOD!!!! LOOK AT ME!

Susie

What the hell happened to you?!

Jeff

What happened?!

Susie

What happened, Nurse?!

Dr. Page accidentally shaved Mr. Green's head...

Jeff

Shaved my head?!

Susie

Wait a minute. "Accidentally"?

Jeff

He operated my head?

No, the procedure was cancelled. The operation is going to be... rescheduled.

Susie

So he didn't have the surgery?!

No.

Susie

Oh, you look horrible! Jeff!

[enters the room] Nurse, would you please excuse us? [the nurse leaves the room]

Susie

Doctor, what the hell happened?! Look at him!

Jeff

What happened?! What happened?!

Mr. and Mrs. Green, I am so sorry. I was coming to see you in the operating room, and I had just been victimized by a terrible incident in the cafeteria. And so I came to the operating room, and I was so angered, and I was upset, and I was confused, and I mistakenly shaved your head, for which I'm so sorry.

Susie

A mistake is correct! You took it out on his head?!

Well, I can explain. I'm leaving the cafeteria, and I'm walking past a table, and this horrible man uses the most vile word in the English language to refer to a black person, and I went into a blind rage, and I left there, and I went to the operating room, and made this terrible mistake, for which I'm so sorry.

Susie

Do you know who this man was?

I have no idea who he was. He was just a despicable bald man.

Susie

Bald?

Yes.

Susie

Did he, by any chance, wear glasses?

Yes... As a matter of fact, he was wearing glasses. And it was awful. It was just absolutely awful.