I'm sorry I was late. I just couldn't decide what to wear.
“Trick or Treat” · Season 2, Episode 3
In this episode: Larry David (9)
It seems silly to me to put a napkin on an old pair of pants.
I think I am just going to get a Cobb Salad. I'd like to make a few substitutions, if that's OK. I'll get... no bacon. No eggs. Blue cheese on the side.
CCCliff Cobb
Are you sure you want a Cobb Salad? Do you do that every time you order that salad?
Do you have a problem with it?
CCCliff Cobb
It's my grandfather's salad. I'm a Cobb of Cobb Salad fame.
I think that this is a real bullshit story.
You know, my grandfather's name was Harold Bingo, and he invented the game "Bingo."
(to Shelley Cobb) You know we should have sex sometime.
WWalter
(to Larry) Are you Jewish?
You wanna check my penis?
WWalter
(to Larry) You know what you are, you are a self-loathing Jew.
Well I do hate myself, but it has nothing to do with being Jewish.
TOTrick-or-Treaters
It's Halloween, can we get some candy?
Yeah, it's Halloween but that doesn't mean you can go around to people's houses and bilk candy from them.
"Bald Asshole"? That's a hate crime. We consider ourselves to be a group.
PPolice Officer
I'm bald and I'm not offended.
With all due respect, Officer Berg, you are not bald. You've chosen to shave your hair and that's a look you're cultivating in order to look fashionable, but we don't really consider you part of the bald community...with all due respect.
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