CSI: NY quotes

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Jason [second vic's boyfriend]: I never saw that house. I swear on my grandmother.
Don Flack: Let me arrest him for swearing on his grandmother.

Stella Bonasera: What time did you get in?
Mac Taylor: I never went home.
Stella: Can't sleep?
Mac: What's sleep?

Mac: You're not a doctor, you're a murderer with a medical degree.

Flack: He's harmless. Think he's all about the dog, you know?

Danny: Good morning, dear.
Stella: Do I have a tail back there?
Danny: Sorry. Good morning, Stella.
Stella: Better.

[sitting with their comatose victim in the hospital]
Mac: I used to sit like this with my wife. Her name was Claire. She died, on 9/11. Nobody saw it coming. I was cleaning out the closet the other day and I found this beach ball. And I remembered it was my wife who blew it up. I never told anybody this, but I got rid of everything that reminded me of Claire; too painful. The one thing I couldn't throw away . . . was that beach ball. Her breath is still in there.

Danny Messer: You hear about that body?
Det. Stella Bonasera: The one by the River Cafe? Yeah, I caught it on the police portable when I was in the shower.
Danny Messer: Why doesn't that surprise me?
Det. Stella Bonasera: The job never stops, Danny.

Danny: No pictures, no personal effects, not a partial, nothing. What's this guy live in, gloves?
Aiden: (shining blacklight on a sheet with semen traces) I'm gettin' all kinds of love over here.
Danny: I think he got tipped off.
Aiden: I think he got off.

Mac Taylor: [to Stella] Use your head, not your heart.

[Flack apprehends a suspect at a restaurant]
Suspect: Hey! I didn't do nothing man.
Flack: Yeah? You got steak sauce all over my shoes.

Stella: She was in Central Park.
Mac: Looks like we've got ourselves an 800-acre crime scene.

Mac: Aiden's on rodent patrol, I'm waiting to do a rat-topsy.
Stella: Rape and rats. Worlds apart.

Aiden Burn: NYPD. Crime Scene Investigators.
Shop-keeper: You people deal with rats?
Aiden Burn: Only when they have eaten our evidence.

Mac Taylor: If this is a joke, I'm not laughing. These bones are real.

[A skeleton has been found on a tour bus in Times Square]
Stella Bonasera: How long is this tour? [Mac looks at her disbelievingly] That's funny.