Sheldon Hawkes quotes from CSI: NY

Dr. Sheldon Hawkes

What are you working on?

Adam Ross

Oh, just some trace that Sid found in the crease of our vic's mouth. Mac asked me to I.D. it.

Dr. Sheldon Hawkes

Mind if I take a look?

Adam Ross

Oh, please, knock yourself out.

Dr. Sheldon Hawkes

[Looks at the slide] Are you kidding me?

Adam Ross

It's krill. Pelagic, shrimp-like crustacean of the family Euphuasiid.

Dr. Sheldon Hawkes

How did it get in our vic's mouth?

Adam Ross

I'm working on that. See, krill is one of the main ingredients used in salt water fish food.

Dr. Sheldon Hawkes

There's an aquarium in the visitor's lounge at the hospital. Nice.

Dr. Sheldon Hawkes

You never went home last night, huh?

Detective Mac Taylor

Looks like you didn't, either.

Dr. Sheldon Hawkes

Hey, I've got two miles of bandages to go through. What's your excuse?

Sheldon Hawkes

It took three high-risk surgeries exercising my profession to learn sometimes it's just your time, and there's nothing medicine can do about it. [Flashback]

Danny Messer

So you just walked away?

Hawkes

Yeah, learned the hard way that I didn't want to be the guy standing over somebody when they took their last breath. So, took a job at the ME's office, figured if God had the final say when someone died, I could at do something about it if they were taken too soon. At least that's what I keep telling myself.

Danny

Hey, you're still a doctor, Sheldon.

Stella

The Archersons didn't invite any criminals to their party.

Hawkes

The guest list was 90% kids, and unless they're robbing banks between classes they're not going to be in the system.

Hawkes

You want Gina to participate in the reconstruction? That would mean taking her home, back to the crime scene.

Mac

Gina heard every detail of that crime scene through her body, which makes her our best witness.

Sheldon Hawkes

I guess our vic's outta the race.

Danny Messer

And he finished dead last!

Sheldon Hawkes

Hey. I thought you'd left. You okay?

Lindsay Monroe

Yeah. Just, uh, tying up some loose ends. Have you seen Danny?

Hawkes

Yeah, he's out in the field.

Lindsay

(holding up a card) Could you, make sure that he sees this?

Hawkes

That's how you're going to tell him you're leaving? A card? At least call him. Give him a chance to say good-bye.

Mac

(thinking) Will you walk into my parlor?

Hawkes

Said the spider to the fly.

Dr. Sheldon Hawkes

What have we got?

Detective Stella Bonasera

A woman says she saw, what she claims was, a giant cigarette on fire, running for its life.

Detective Stella Bonasera

Okay, let's just say it now to get it over with: smoking kills.

Dr. Sheldon Hawkes

Yeah, but who killed him?

You think Houdini knew the impact he would have on Mafia lingo?

Sheldon Hawkes

I'm sorry?

When they whack somebody, they say, "we made him do a Houdini". Do you think that would make him proud?

Sheldon Hawkes

Are we actually having this conversation?

Oh, I'm sorry. Can you explain the difference between DNA and RNA? Is that better, 'cause that's scintillating conversation right there.

Sheldon Hawkes

It would be if you knew the answer-

This is what your looking for, it has all three items you showed me in those photographs. You better return this though, it's a collector's item. I don't want to find out you two pulled a Houdini on me.

Hawkes

I need all his clothes removed and bagged. What's his status?

His white blood cell count's off the charts, he's got internal bleeding in his GI track and his organs are showing signs of failure. Other than that he's fine.

Sheldon Hawkes

What about the trace I collected from her arm?

Lindsay Monroe

Latex. More specifically, condom spray.

Danny Messer

(Amused) 'Scuse me? What? I didn't catch that.

Lindsay Monroe

Liquid rubber (Holds the spray can, smiling) German engineering at its finest.

Sheldon Hawkes

I'm not sure I understand.

Lindsay Monroe

Well, allow me to demonstrate (Grabs a big test-tube) Contrary to what you might have heard, science definitely does matter (Starts spraying the content of the can on the test-tube) Simply, apply like so. Allow a few moments for maximum drying time and... Boom! Instant condom. (Hands test tube to Danny)

Sheldon Hawkes

Are you serious? A spray-on condom?

Danny Messer

What... Where does the... The... (Points at the top of the test-tube) Now how... Never mind.

Danny

So is it true what they say?

Hawkes

What's that?

Danny

Did your life pass right before your eyes?

Hawkes

I could only think of one thing the whole time I was down there.

Danny

What? Was it your first kiss?

Hawkes

(holding his ribs) Don't make me laugh.

Danny

What?

Hawkes

Sid Hammerback. I was in his lab, lying on an autopsy table. Sid was standing over me, firing up the bone spreader.

Danny

That's morbid.

Danny

(as he gears up to go into the water) A graveyard for subways? What happened, they run out of landfill or what?

Mac

(laughs a little) Cheaper to sink ‘em then scrap ‘em.

Sheldon

And the subway reefs provide a marine life sanctuary.

Danny

Yeah, well screw the fish. Hope it provides us with a crime scene.

Mac

Holden surfaced right here in the harbor. We're here. Subway reef is right under us. And we're gonna focus on the old Redbird transit cars. They're the ones that contain asbestos. It's dark down there. We got tidal currents, rocks and reefs to deal with.

Danny

Let's look on the bright side. We're not gonna worry about sharks.