Danny Messer quotes from CSI: NY

Danny Messer

[Laughing] Hey, come on, that's not right, don't do that, stop.

Lindsay Monroe

What?

Danny Messer

He's just messing with the age progression software.

Danny Messer

I wouldn't look.

Lindsay Monroe

Is that me?! That's not funny!

Danny Messer

I didn't do it.

Lindsay Monroe

Yeah, but you're laughing.

Danny Messer

No.

Lindsay Monroe

You're going to be married to her. [They all keep laughing] We are growing old together.

Adam Ross

[Seriously] Boss, One o'clock.

Mac Taylor

What is happening in here?

Adam Ross

We were... well, ah... while these guys were, eh... goofing around, I discovered a rust like substance from the vics sweater, more than likely transfered from the weapon. [Lindsay and Danny look at him incredulously]

Danny Messer

Rust, huh?

Adam Ross

Yeah, huh.

Danny Messer

I think you need a distinct chemical composition or you'll be staring at big fat dead end chief.

Lindsay Monroe

There was no hit in Codis from the blood on the platform. And Danny's print from the train, dead end. But I did manage to find a partial print from the adhesive tape on the cigar box, and I'm thinking since our vic was wearing a mask, she was probably up to something, and she might have a record.

Danny Messer

Right, which we won't find any time soon, cause our vic is still a Jane Doe, and I ran Sid's ten card and we didn't get an ID... So if that print you recovered is hers, it's not gonna get us a name.

Lindsay Monroe

I'm your wife, ok. You don't have to turn on me.

Mac Taylor

You three done?

Adam Ross

Sorry.

Mac Taylor

Alright, lets get an ID on our Jane Doe, lets hunt down a location where this mask was purchased might be a good place to start, the quality of the material suggests it was custom made, not something you find on a costume store shelf, and run this clothes, lets see if we can find a murder weapon. Danny that palm print run it for trace, maybe we can find something that'll tell us where the killer works, lives or hangs out.

Danny Messer

What about that feast that we brought you in bed?

Danny Messer

Two? Really?...Whoa, I'll get you something tasty when we're done [Crime scene]

Lindsay Monroe

I want a bowl of grits, two eggs over medium, sausage and wheat toast with a lot of butter from that soul food place in Bleaker. And, I want a double cheese burger with large fries, and a cream super float from that place in Madison Square park.

Danny Messer

[Snorts, starts walking away] That's it... [Stops, looks back questioningly]

Lindsay Monroe

I'm not pregnant. I'm just hungry.

Jo Danville

Danny, check your schedule. You'll receive a 'must appear' for Wednesday.

Sheldon Hawkes

I can cover your cases for you if you have any deadlines.

Danny Messer

Ah, thanks, Doc (To Lindsay) You weren't even gonna offer, were you?

Lindsay Monroe

Solve your own damn cases.

Adam Ross

I can't wait to get married.

Danny Messer

Know what I'm thinking? I want you to go into the bathroom, take these two bricks of cocaine and I want you to strap them to your body. All right? Then I'm going to meet you downstairs, okay? I'm gonna get it home, I'm gonna cut it and I'm gonna package it. And I'm going to become... (Imitating Al Pacino) ...Danny Montana. I'm a political prisoner from Staten Island.

Lindsay Monroe

So you have no problem using me as a drug mule?

Danny Messer

No. If you want to be involved, you're going to have to take on some of the risk.

Lindsay Monroe

Well, it sounds like I'm taking on all of the risk. The only thing you risk is being mocked for doing a bad Pacino impression.

Danny Messer

So you're not a fan of being the wife of a very powerful and, and, and very handsome, of I do say so myself, drug lord. I anticipated that, because I know a little bit about you so I have a plan B for making some extra dough.

Lindsay Monroe

Well, does it involve you dressing in drag and turning tricks? Because that I'm totally okay with.

Danny Messer

How does Sergeant Danny Messer sound?

Lindsay Monroe

Are you serious? You're thinking about taking the sergeant's exam?

Danny Messer

Maybe.

Lindsay Monroe

I think that's a great idea.

Danny Messer

Good. 'Cause I took it a few months ago and I'm waiting for the results in a few days.

Lindsay Monroe

What? Why didn't you tell me?

Danny Messer

I mean, I haven't told anyone. I mean, I don't know if I want it. I mean, it's more money. It puts me on the path to possibly running this lab one day but it takes me away from here. It would take me away from the team. It would take me away from you.

Lindsay Monroe

Well, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. I love that you're thinking about our future like this.

Lindsay Monroe

Oh, did you get your results back?

Danny Messer

(Imitating Al Pacino) Say hello to Sergeant Messer. (They hug)

Lindsay Monroe

You passed?

Danny Messer

I passed! (They kiss)

Danny Messer

Technology.

Got to love it.

Hey, buddy, you can't go down there.

Danny Messer

It's okay, I'm on the job.

What's your name?

Danny Messer

Messer. Danny Messer.

Listen to me, Messer. You don't need to go down...

Danny Messer

No, I got to get down there and help!

Listen to me, Messer. They're all gone!

Danny Messer

I want to go help these people!

They're all gone.

Lindsay

Excuse me, Officer.

Danny

Sergeant.

Lindsay

Sorry, Sergeant. I'm looking for Danny Messer. He's my husband. At least I think he is. I haven't seen him in days.

Danny

You trying to break my heart?

Danny

(About Miranda Beck) She found the body. Claims that she and the vic left the club she was playing last night and came back to the apartment. Probably thought it was the luckiest night of his life.

Lindsay

Unfortunately, it was also his last.

Danny

Hey, stranger. So you're back.

Mac

It's official. I talked to Sinclair yesterday. Retirement papers have already been pulled.

Danny

Great. That's great news. Welcome back.

Lindsay

Oh, hey, Mac. We missed you (To Danny) See? I told you he'd be back.

Danny

You did? You didn't say that.

Lindsay

Yeah, I did. I said he'd be back.

Danny

I said that, but whatever.

Lindsay

(To Mac) Yeah, no, I said you'd be back.

Mac

All right, all right. Are you two done? We have a dead body here that needs to be processed.

Danny

Obvious signs of forced entry. Probably gonna want to phenol these shards of glass. There's, uh... no usable prints, and, uh...

Mac

Are you working the crime scene or me?

Danny

Nah, go ahead. Do your thing. I'll just go check on the canvass.

Mac

He misses all this.

Lindsay

Yeah.