Danny Messer quotes from CSI: NY

Stella Bonasera

They say burning is the most painful of deaths.

Danny Messer

I love that. How do they know? What'd they take a poll? '64% of dead people surveyed ...'

Mac Taylor

(hands Danny a lighter) You want to do the honors?

Danny Messer

Are you lighting your arm on fire in the name of science?

Mac Taylor

What other job allows you to set your boss on fire? Going once, going twice...

Danny Messer

(takes the lighter) Sold, but if you go up in flames, I get your office?

Danny

Since when do you know so much about wine, Montana?

Lindsay Monroe

We're more than beer and buffalo burgers, Messer.

Lindsay Monroe

I think Danny's favorite wine is the house Chianti.

Danny Messer

See, that's where you're wrong. My favourite wine is beer.

Danny Messer

[explaining his theory about what happened] Then he was screwed to death.

6.5, Mess. Little shaky on the landing.

Lindsay

I mean, isn't the cockroach kind of the unofficial mascot of New York?

Danny

Very funny, take it easy there, Montana.

Detective Danny Messer

Get outta here, these are real stones?

Detective Lindsay Monroe

Uh huh, and I'm thinking this chain was attached, which makes this roach jewelry, or a pet, or a jeweled pet.

Detective Danny Messer

Or roach-broche.

Detective Lindsay Monroe

Hey, it could be the next big thing.

Danny

We saw a rat with an ear on its back. I'm mean, I've got to be honest, I can handle dead bodies obviously, floaters, old ladies cut in little pieces, but mix and match with different species.

Mac

Now what's the expression? Progress is a great thing, it just went on for too long.

Danny

I'm gonna head out to Brighton Beach, 'cause one of the guys who got busted with Scott Colson owns a Russian food joint, called Sokov's.

Lindsay

If the guy took his chances running with the Russian mob, maybe his past finally caught up with him.

Danny

Da! (as Lindsay laughs)

I'm an American citizen.

Detective Danny Messer

With a rap sheet as long as the Constitution.

Danny Messer

Why do we do what we do, huh?

What do you mean?

Danny

Why do we wake up in the morning at three o'clock, stand at a crime scene in the freezing cold, living paycheck-to-paycheck, for what? To protect and serve? Serve who, the public? Sometimes it seems like they hate us, and then, here we got the brass ready to throw us to the lions.

(shrugs) We do it cause we're good at it. Maybe we'd be lousy at anything else. I don't know. Maybe we do it for the one or two times somebody actually thanks us for finding their son's murderer.

Danny Messer

It's nice, ain't it though? Bein' cooperative?

[shrugs] It ain't bad.

Lindsay

I'm sorry.

Danny

What are you sorry about?

Lindsay

You're not supposed to be here. You took my shift.

Lindsay

I dreamt that I woke up and you were gone. You left a note.

Danny

Where would I go? This is my place.

Lindsay

(giggling) I was hoping for a better answer.

Danny

Just kidding. I'm glad this happened. (kisses her forehead)

Lindsay

Me, too. (kisses his chest)

Danny

There's no way you're gonna make this shot, Montana.

Lindsay

A Benjamin says I do. [makes the shot] You owe me $100.00

Danny

You know what? You're gonna have to wait 'til payday.

Lindsay

[voiceover as montage of them kissing begins] No. You either pay me now, or come up with something better. [montage contiues as they have sex]