Don Flack quotes from CSI: NY

What the hell kinda car are you?

I dunno. If I could go anywhere back in time, I'd probably go back to my folks' place in Queens for my mom's corn beef Wednesdays. Yeah, I'd endure every one of my brothers' insults for one more taste of that paradise.

(skeptical) Nick, I've had guys in here blame their criminal behavior on wives, bosses, even the devil. But I gotta tell ya, this is a new one. You're telling me you were driven to this by a shiny red light?

So the Hatfields and the McCoys couldn't keep it together long enough to merge the family fortunes.

So the neighbors were very helpful. They saw nothing, heard nothing and know nothing. Welcome to my life.

Stop, Drop and Roll! You son of a bitch!

Put it this way: if a dishwasher and a porta-potty ever mixed it up, this thing would be their offspring.

Look, I know I sound like an idiot. It was a yellow cab. That's all I've got.

[sarcastically] Have I told you how much I love the media?

Listen up, Larry! I'm a little pissed off over having to wear this outfit! If you don't open this door I'm gonna huff and puff and nuke your little house down!

Debbie, before you make a complete ass of yourself, do me a favor: take a look right here.

[to suspect in the interrogation room] You know the old stereotype about "Irish temper"? It's not really a problem for me. But those bagpiping cops out in the bullpen? Having to file reports instead of knocking a few back at the Knights of Columbus? [mockingly] They're ready to boil you like cabbage.

I'm facts, he's science.

You know, these talks would go a lot better if you weren't packing a 45, which is the same calibre used to kill Torres, by the way.

[Interrogating Clown suspect] You squirt me with that thing, I will shoot you, right here in front of everybody, understand me?