And this guy had a full-page ad in the back of each and every one of ‘em selling things like Dribble Glasses, Onion Gum, Hypno-Coins, Whoopee cushions.
Oh, yeah. And it all looked great. And I'd do whatever it took. I would scrimp, I would save, I would mow every last lawn in the neighborhood to get my hands on Sneezing Salts or a hundred-piece Battle Fleet. And then, I go to the mailbox, and right there, before my innocent young eyes, would be disappointment in a cardboard box.
I once spent my entire summer allowance on this hovercraft that Laughing Larry said would take me and my friends riding on a carpet of thin air. Hovercrap!
How about the x-ray specs I bought in middle school to see through a girl's clothes? The only thing I ever saw through those was a nun coming at me with a yardstick.
There is one more thing, Sid. Mucuna pruriens. In India, they're also known as velvet-bean, cow-itch, but here in the United States, we usually call it itching powder. (hands him the evidence bag with a packet as Lindsay starts laughing)
Oh, yeah, you did. I just don't wanna go home. 'Cause when I go walking down that hallway now, I'm...not gonna hear the kid laughing on the other side of the walls, you know. Crying when he doesn't wanna go to bed. I'm just afraid I'm gonna miss him
(about Ruben) I saw him. I saw him. He was fine. I saw him. He rode the bike right away from me. I shouldn't have stopped. I shouldn't have stopped. Why did I stop!? I should've made sure the kid got home safe.