Don Flack quotes from CSI: NY

Detective Danny Messer

Colin Flynn?

Yeah, that's me.

Detective Danny Messer

NYPD, we got a couple of questions for you, alright?

Do I have to answer?

I'm a cop, not a lawyer... but yeah, you do.

Detective Stella Bonasera

Witnesses? Sober ones anyway?

Nah. I waited for you to get here before I started my interviews, looking forward to that by the way. I swear to you, if one of them calls me "bro"...

It's called "Edward-40-Hands", you know, like "Edward Scissor Hands", but with 40s.

Get out of here.

No serious, that's what they call it.

No, I mean get out of my face, I never want to see you again, go!

Whatever, bro.

I'm all about the business.

Stella

That's right, loan shark, drugs, gambling, fencing stolen goods, how much was Chopper Tevis in to you for?

Interests mount up.

The only things mounting up in your world, brother, are charges.

Mac Taylor

We want a reference sample.

Tony DeLuca

What, so you can put it on some government database? Forget it, I know my rights.

Yeah, we've got rights, too--they're called warrants.

Tony DeLuca

The only reason I was with that girl was because I was doing Mandi a favor.

Having sex with the hotel concierge was a favor?

Mac Taylor

We'd like a reference sample of your DNA.

Tony DeLuca

What, so you can stick it on some government database? No way, I know my rights.

We have rights, too. They're called warrants.

[to Danny and Mac] Hey. So I went down to the deli to get a cinnamon twist and ran into a friend of ours. [shows them a "scandal" magazine with a picture of Mandy Foster on the front cover]

Danny

Paparazzi must have been hiding behind a potted plant.

Do you, Stella Bonasera, take Veronica as a crazy with a motive?

Stella Bonasera

I do.

Detective Mac Taylor

I'm just asking questions, Don.

No, you're not just asking questions, Mac. Come on, I know you. You wouldn't be here talking to me if you hadn't already tracked the chain of custody, checked with property, and called the DEA agents. And let me tell you something, cocaine from that raid wouldn't last six months on the street. So what is this? My interrogation?

Detective Mac Taylor

You're overreacting.

Well maybe I am, but let me save you a little bit of time - none of my guys took a thing.

Detective Mac Taylor

You can't be sure of that. You weren't there. You just said you didn't remember.

It didn't happen, Mac.

Detective Mac Taylor

You're listed on the DD5 as the recorder on the scene. You had to take everything down in your memo book - every detective who was there, who searched the room, who found the drugs.

You askin' me for it?

Detective Mac Taylor

You can check your notes or you can let me do it.

Is this official business?

Detective Mac Taylor

It's a request, from a friend.

Then I'm gonna have to think about it.

Detective Mac Taylor

Don.

Hey.

Detective Mac Taylor

You know why I'm here.

Do you care about the consequences?

Detective Mac Taylor

I know this isn't easy for you.

I'm not talking about me, Mac. I'm talking about the hundred of arrests this cop was involved in, the thugs who are going to be screaming for an appeal because his credibility's in question, and the ones who are going to go free despite the fact they're guilty and he did everything by the book. I'm talking about child molesters, rapists, murderers.

Detective Mac Taylor

Kym Tanaka's shooter stepped over his body and collected shell casings. He stuck his fingers into the victim's shoulder wound to retrieve a bullet all to save his own ass. He was there to sell drugs, poison, that destroys families, creates addicts out of babies in the womb, and accounts for twenty-three percent of the murders in this city. Don't make me subpena your memo book, Don. [Flack throws him the memo book. Mac walks away, stops, and turns back to Flack] The consequences I care about are the cops who never cross the line who now have to face critisim on suspicion because one of their own forgot the oath we took. Whichever one of these guys is found guilty I hope he goes away for a very long time because he disrespected the badge that you and I wear.

Didn't appreciate that, Matt. See, this here is a new pair of pants. And I don't get uniform allowance. So I suggest you make it up to me by makin' the rest of this very easy (Flack pats down Matt). Check out what Mr. Goodwrench had in his backpocket. Set of lockpick tools.

What can I say? I'm always losin' my apartment keys.

Hey, what did I tell you 'bout makin' things easy?

They picked today for the stunt cos the conditions were perfect.

Danny

Yeah well there was a slight change in forecast, to cloudy, with a chance of birds.

Danny

You guys in position?

Yeah, we're ready.

Danny

(Let's the bird go) Houston, we have lift off.

You think I'd marry her? She's deaf.

Mac

You're a real piece of work.

What Detective Taylor meant to say is you're a scumbag with an $80 haircut who killed his girlfriend because she decided to have his baby.