Jerzy quotes from CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Jerzy

[flipping the pictures facedown on the table] I can't stand looking at inferior art. It sears into my consciousness like bad Mexican food.

Brass

Do you know Carla Perotti?

Jerzy

Who?

Brass

Carla Perotti!

Jerzy

Oh, yeah. She was one of my models, she's a lovely girl. [looks at the picture] That's a cheap imitation of my work.

Brass

Well, you have to take it up with the coroner because she's dead for real.

Brass

Maybe you, uh, maybe you bumped into him at a grocery store or something.

Jerzy

I don't go out. I don't shop. I don't bump.

Brass

But you do paint dead people.

Jerzy

I paint people who look dead, and you would weep if you knew how much I make doing that. If you haven't noticed our culture seems to be obsessed with sex and death.

Brass

I've noticed.

Jerzy

I'm gonna save you some time because I know what's on your mind. I don't kill my models. I don't even bang them much anymore, occasionally, of course, but I find not with same gusto and verve with as the days go by.

Brass

You bang Carla Perotti?

Jerzy

I'm not doing women.

Brass

You mind if I look around?

Jerzy

I'd like to paint you in the nude.

Brass

I don't do nude. Where would I pin the badge?

Jerzy

Exactly.