Madeline Klein quotes from CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Madeline Klein

Nobody knew he was coming, Conrad. Nobody knew his name. Yeah, well, if you'd stop talking for a minute you'd understand. The investigation's been compromised. Lives are at risk. How many people do the right thing anymore? Have a conscience? Don Cook, didn't even know what he saw. El Mataocho doesn't kill for the thrill, or because he was abused as a child, he kills because it's his answer to everything. I had him eye-witnessed, it was enough for an indictment. No indictment, no trial, he goes free and La Tierra gets stronger, so don't patronize me by saying this might be an accident. I'm not asking you for advice here, I'm telling you. I want Grissom.

Madeline Klein

[to Grissom] Boy, you look like hell. I need sugar. You got a soda?

Grissom

Nice to see you, too, Maddy.

Madeline Klein

6 months' worth of investigation; two months working with the grand jury; 5 low-level indictments against the LAT. Why you? 'Cause you're the only one who won't screw it up.

Grissom

My team won't screw it up.

Madeline Klein

Oh, right. Your team. Warrick Brown got mixed up with a crooked judge. Sanders ran down a civilian while on duty. Ms. Willows lied about being at a crime scene, among other things. And who can forget Stokes, your straight arrow? Suspected of killing his hooker girlfriend. How does the song go? "You call me up, I get 'em out of it"? If it weren't for me, you'd have no team.

Brass

[to Donny Gomez] And why that apartment? Who do you know lives there?

Nobody. I got a mental illness. I'm a firebug. I'm loco.

Brass

You're loco?

Who knows? (Madeline walks in) Maybe I'll set the lawyer lady's house on fire.

Madeline Klein

Hey, little man with the big mouth. It doesn't matter what you say, 'cause all your boys are going to hear is that you rolled on Alvarado. (Gomez surges to his feet. His hands are cuffed behind his back. The officer grabs his shoulders)

Brass

Sit down.

Madeline Klein

Just bought yourself another ten years. I'm going to hand-pick your cell mate.

Brass

Well, that didn't help.

Madeline Klein

That kid wouldn't roll if I gave him a night with Jessica Alba.

Brass

You're really good at making enemies, Maddy.

Madeline Klein

That's why I'm unlisted, divorced and carry a gun.

Brass

Did you take Cook back to Little Gordo's house? You know, maybe to verify his story?

Madeline Klein

Yeah, I always take my secret witnesses on a bus tour of the hood.

Brass

You know, when Don Cook first refused to testify that he saw Alvarado come out of Little Gordo's house, you know what I did? I took him to an out-of-town diner and bought him a cup of coffee. What'd you do?

Madeline Klein

I went to Little Gordo's. (Brass nods, Maddy gets it now) Damn it. Good job, Maddy. They saw me. I can't even blame it on the booze. All they had to do was trail me back to the courthouse and watch me go into the security entrance with 18 escorted jurors. That's how they knew grand jury. Damn it! This is where you're supposed to say, "It's okay. It could happen to anyone. It's not your fault Don Cook is dead." Like hell it isn't.

Madeline Klein

Well, I was right about Alvarado, he was leaving Vegas. Otherwise, he would have killed me himself.

Grissom

You okay?

Madeline Klein

Yeah. Guess now, I owe you one, huh?

Grissom

I don't keep score, Madeline.

Madeline Klein

You know what Gilbert? You're the only man I know that's never let me down. Which means either that your a classic enabler or my soulmate.