He wasn't even a New Mexican...
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
Mom! Dad! Photo-realistic beaver is teasing me again!
[riding his bike] Oh, nobody wants to play with me. I don't understand why!
Be free, world! Yonder forth! And populate! [sighs]
[As they run out of a trailer, numerous people trample Red under their feet]
Ouch, oh, oh, ow, oh, oh, oh! Oh. Ow! Oh, have a nice day! This is the happiest day of my life.
[Mom, Dad and Chicken standing on Red, Cow catches up to them]
Oh, Mom, Dad, Big Brother! You're okay! Oh, I was so worried about you! Oh, you are a very bad ma... lady... whatever you are... for locking up everyone in the world in a trailer.
Sorry.
You know, kids? Being locked up in a trailer with the whole world has taught us a valuable lesson.
Yeah? What is it?
Beats me!
But I'm sure it's valuable!
[Mom, Dad and Cow are laughing except Chicken]
I think I liked it better in the trailer.
[Mom has ordered Chicken to stay in the tub until he takes a bath, and Mom, Dad, and Cow need to use the toilet]
Chicken? Hurry up and take that bath, I gotta get in there!
No dice.
Chicken? Are you done yet? I need to visit the reading room... to read?
Me too, Chicken, can I, um, use the bathroom too?
Come on son, I gotta core the apple!
I have to launch the raft!
Come on Chicken, I have to brick up the chimney!
I need to stir the bean, big brother! Will you be much longer?
I ain't takin' no bath!
Come on! I gotta, uh, uh, feed the ducks.
Why don't you just get it over with, Chicken? I need to wax the board!
The bathroom is closed for the duration.
Chicken! For crying out loud, I gotta jump the gun!
I can't hold it any longer! ...Could you please hurry honey?
I gotta peel the onions!
How rude! Not while I am in the tub, bub!
Hurry up! Chicken! I gotta wash the window!
I gotta make peace with the Germans!
Gotta run for Congress here!
ATAll three
Come on Chicken, take a bath already!
Chicken! It's time to flip the pickles!
Come on, Chicken!
I gotta resole the family christen!
I simply must pull the rip cord!
I must wash the windows!
I, I, I gotta spoon the balls!
Let the little puppies run! Please?
Gotta shake hands with the President!
Gotta press the issue!
Chicken, I need to let the cat out!
It's time to drive the governor home...
I... need... to... stuff... the... olives!
Have to shuck the corn!
Oooh! It is time to burp the baby!
May I please stabber out the facts?
I... I... got... to... strike... my... pansy!
Lay some carpet, por favor!
Gotta talk to the boss! THAT IS IT, CHICKEN!!!
Okay, men. I've got a plan.
Dad Ready or not, Chicken! (He, Mom, and Cow let out a battle cry and surround Chicken.) Son, if you don’t take a bath, then we'll give you one!
(gasps)
[Cow and Chicken approach the airplane, where they are greeted by Red Guy.]
Hello! I'm Bunny, your Flight Attendant! Oh, isn't it a great day to be HURLED THROUGH THE AIR, twenty-three billion feet above the Earth, with only a vewy, vewy thin sheet of aluminium between you and A TEN MINUTE SCREAMING DROP to an abrupt stop?
Not only am I not a boy, I'm not even a chicken! [breaks into tears]
Ooh, I hope my big bwudder is gonna be okay, oh, if only I hadn't been whistwing in fwont of him, he wouwdn't have faced in dis wife, oh... I wish I nevew whistwed again in my wife!
Evewyone can whistwe, Chicken, it is one of wife's speciaw out gifts.
[with a price tag on her labelled 19 cent] My buns are only 19 cents? [tearfully] I AM SO CHEAP!!! [sobbing and mooing]
GOOD MORNING! Coffee, grandma? I think you'd make a great coffee cup. [opens up Chicken's beak, pours coffee in him, and starts spilling the coffee on himself] It leaks.
[uses Chicken as a face towel] Hey, you're not bad as a towel! [looks at himself in the mirror; gasps] Oh! I didn't brush my teeth this year! Guess what you get to be! [squirts toothpaste on Chicken and starts brushing his teeth with him; spits in the sink] Ooh. I NEED A NICE CLOSE SHAVE! [sharpens Chicken's beak on a belt; starts shaving his chin and his tongue with Chicken] [shaves his armpit] AHH! CAN'T YOU AT LEAST HUM A LITTLE?! WORK WITH ME HERE!
[blows raspberry at him]
THAT'S IT! NOW MY SHAVER'S SPITTING AT ME! I've been ripped off! YOU GUYS ARE USELESS! I'm taking you back to the store.
My waddle is getting all wrinkly. I sure could use somethin' to wet my whistle. [Cow squirts milk at him] Somethin' besides that.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Cow and Chicken pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.