[gasps] Chicken, that is a good way to lose a beak!
Ah, shut up, Cow! Mind your own beeswax! [gets hit with sign] What?
All S1
Characters
Red GuyCharlie Adler · 31 quotes
ChickenCharlie Adler · 24 quotes
CowCharlie Adler · 19 quotes
DadDee Bradley Baker · 11 quotes
MomCandi Milo · 6 quotes
Most scenes together: Chicken & Cow (9), Red Guy & Chicken (6), Dad & Mom (6)
S1 E15Unfinished Business
[pretending to be an inmate and slyly pantsing the warden] Jailbreak!
GGuard
[panicking] Sound the alarm! [The guard falls down and the inmates laugh at him. He is then insulted and grabs Chicken pretending to be Red.] Lockdown!
Eat this, you filthy screw.
IInmate
Way to go, Red.
[To Red Guy as the Warden] I gotta be home by 8:00 or I'm in big trouble! Anyhow, Mom is making pork butts and taters. She only makes it on Tuesdays; it's my favorite!
Chicken, the warden of Folsom Prison just called.
I know what he said; I did time at the big house 'cause I pantsed the guard!
[as the Warden] LADIES!!! ...and gentlemen. A terrible injustice has been done here. Red doesn't belong here - he's innocent! He wants to go home with Mom and Dad, AND EAT PORK BUTTS AND TATERS! Now, let's all join hands AND SAY WE'RE SORRY!!!
IInmates
Sorry Red!
Now, someone has to pay for Red's injustice... TEN YEARS IN SOLITARY CONFINEMENT FOR EVERYBODY!!! Without a toilet... [He pulls a rope, opening the floor of the yard and dropping Chicken and the inmates down a pit]
That's it! I'll get a part-time job at the milk farm. I'll make money to buy Crabs the Warthog!
You think they want your milk? It says the finest cows on Earth, not Mars!
CDr. Chunks
WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU, MAN?! CAN'T YOU READ?! "NO CHICKEN MILK!!"
CCChicken Chorus
Itttttt's... easy-pickin', finger-lickin', chicken on a stick!
With the Rear Admiral, you rarely get sick! Oh-ho!
CCChicken Chorus
Nobody flips a boid...
Like Rear Admiral Floyd!
CCChicken Chorus
It's finger-lickin'!
CCChicken Chorus
Nobody flips a boid...
Like Rear Admiral Floyd!!!
CCChicken Chorus
CHICKEN!!!
Hey, Mr. Hiney! When do I get paid for this gig?
[as Rear Admiral Floyd] Oh, you won't need any money where you're going, little fella...
Where would we be without you, Boneless Chicken?
BCBoneless Chicken
Where? Well, you'd be up a creek without a paddle or burning your bridges before they're hatched. Who can say, really?
Oh, Boneless, you always kill us!
BCBoneless Chicken
Ah, go on.
Will you be needing anything while we're away?
BCBoneless Chicken
Sure, how 'bout a spine for my limp and lifeless body? [Mom, Dad, and Chicken laugh once more as they soon head for Chicken's parent-teacher conference.]
Oh, Mom and Dad! I missed you both so much these long months of being marooned.
Sweetheart, we've only been gone half an hour for Chicken's parent-teacher conference.
What else do I know about Supercow? WHAT ELSE?! Okay, THINK!!! [smacks his head against the wall] A: She speaks Spanish... TWO! She's a superhero...
[In Red guy's thoughts] I'm just a widdle cow...
Oh! THAT'S IT!!! She's a cow!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Cow and Chicken pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.