Eustace Bagge quotes from Courage the Cowardly Dog

At least I got arms and legs, you don't even got a neck. Ha ha ha!

Get out of my face.

Make me.

Wait until midnight comes around.

You're trying to cheat me like you cheated me before, lckett Bagge. You won that accordion off me in a crooked card game a long time ago and I want it back.

Naw. I ain't lckett, I ain't got no accordion, and I don't wanna be talking to no whale.

You must not enter le museum now, Madame. It is only five minutes until closing.

Good. I'm tired.

Muriel

But I've got to see the Mona Lisa. My mother always said Mona and I were like twins. Don't you agree?

[groans] You look nothing like the Mona Lisa, and I give you five minutes to go see for yourself. Stupid America.

Must be stuck in a ditch! [pounds the wheel, grumbling in frustration]

Muriel

Now, Eustace, getting all unhinged isn't going to help. Like my Aunt Gertrude always said... [screams in terror when she sees something coming towards them]

Hey, you! [presses the horn, scaring the creature, revealing to be a scarecrow that was carried by a pack of crows after they fly away, and it lands on top of the hood, causing him and Muriel to scream in fear]

Food? Food? I need food! Where's my lunch?

Muriel

Right here.

What happened to you, woman? You look like a house!

Muriel

[offended] Look who's calling the kettle black.

[entering the kitchen; blindsided] Muriel! You seen my glasses?! [whacks the tub of butter out of Courage's hand and it falls on him, covering him in butter]

Muriel

No, I haven't. Did you misplace 'em?

[grumbling] Yes, I misplaced them! [bumping into objects] Oww!

Muriel

Courage you better help Eustace find his glasses. Be his guide dog. We wouldn't want him to lose his way.

[retorting] Get away from me!

[getting eggs on his face as Muriel sneezes] What are you trying to do?! Get me sick?! Oh! [eats the eggs with no concern]

Muriel

I'm sorry, Eustace. This is the worst cold I've ever… [starts to sneeze again]

Muriel

You know, Courage, that deer reminds me a wee bit of Eustace.

I'm a deer! Useless the deer!

Muriel

And now, I have the strangest feeling I'm not going to explode at all. [burps up a bloated Courage, and he lands on the ground with a thud; shrinks to her normal size] Oh, my.

Hey! Who's got my carrot?! [Courage belches, laughs, and grows giant-sized; annoyed] You dumb dog.

Courage

Oh, no! [runs off]

Come back here with my carrot! [chases after him]

Muriel

Oh, Eustace. I'm sorry for all the terrible things I said.

That's okay Muriel, nobody's perfect.

Muriel

I wonder where Courage has run off to.

Who cares?

Muriel

I've had it with you not caring what I think or say!

They should make a remote that shuts off people!

Muriel

Don't worry, I'm shutting myself off! I'm not speaking anymore, listen to the TV all you want. You won't be hearing from me again! [Courage tries to protest] Sorry, Courage. My voice isn't welcome in this house, so I'm keeping my thoughts to myself.

What? I wasn't listening.

Hey, stupid dog, Muriel talking yet?

Courage

Mm-mm.

Well go get her to talk, dog! I wanna know if she's gonna make me breakfast!

Muriel

Eustace, what took you so long?

We had to work out a deal for the rematch. If I lose, you're gonna have to pack up your things and move in with the dolphin, and be his sidekick.

Muriel

[shocked] Oh, dear. [has a thought bubble about living with Jojo as a mermaid]

Courage

[horrified] No!

Courage, Courage, Courage! That stupid dog gets all the good stuff around here! I hate that dumb dog!

Muriel

Oh, don't you fret, Courage. He doesn't hate you. [pats Courage on the head as he whimpers sadly, thinking Eustace hurt his feelings]

[walks into the kitchen and picks up the phone] Time for that dog to git... for good! Operator, I'm gonna need a few numbers. [chuckles evilly]

[sitting in the head chair] Well, I'm a man of few words. So, let's just get down to the nitty gritty. What are we here for?

Revenge!

[snickers sinisterly] And who are we going to destroy?

That stupid dog!