Eustace Bagge quotes from Courage the Cowardly Dog

[After being turned to ashes by the effects of the golden hat] Stupid hat!

I'm a farmer! Farmer, farmer, farmer! Ain't stubborn! Ain't, ain't, ain't!

Idiot TV! Talk normal!

Lousy stinkin' frogs! I'm getting me mallet!

Hey, stupid dog. [grabs Courage by the ears and drags him over to the sculpture of Auguste Rodin's The Thinker] Take a picture of me with this idiot. "The Thinker," huh? I know what he's thinking. "How come there's no TV set?"

Where's my breakfast, woman? I'm starving to death!

I like to feed the birdies to the cats!

Want more... food. AAAH! Oh, wicket! Where's my dinner?

Where are we now?

I ain't useless! I'm Eustace!

[parks his truck with Muriel and Courage in tow] This looks like a crummy place to end a crummy vacation. [Thunder and lightning makes Courage scream and clings to Eustace. The family enters the lobby. The latter taps a service bell on the front desk thrice]

Katz

Welcome to the Katz Motel. I'm Katz. Would you please sign in? No dogs allowed.

Courage

But... but... [whines as Eustace brings him outside]

Muriel

Oh my...

[Ties Courage's leash to a pole] KABOOM!!! [laughs, Muriel wacks him in the head with her purse] What did I do? Stupid dog.

Muriel

Oh, Courage, don't worry, it's only for a short time. [kisses Courage before walking away] Goodnight, Courage.

Courage

Maybe a goodnight for you. You'll be in a warm bed.

[scratches his back] Can't wait to sleep in my own bed. Muriel. You hear me? (removes a part of the blanket to sit on the bed) Eh, what do you know? (lays on the bed and covers himself while mumbling quietly) ....bed... Ah. (starts snoring)

Muriel

Eustace, will you stop that noise?! You'll wake the neighbors!

We ain't got no neighbors!

Dr. Vindaloo

Hmm, there's nothing to worry about. It's nothing at all. Nothing at all. The swelling is going to go down. To go down. Just keep soaking it. There's nothing to worry about. Just keep soaking it.

Muriel

[Courage stammers] Now, now, I don't want to be any trouble.

Then you shouldn't have gotten bit. Come on, you stupid dog.

Muriel

Thank you, doctor.

Dr. Vindaloo

Just keep soaking it.

Muriel, you're missing your favorite show! Muriel! [grumbles; to Courage] Go find her.

Courage

Ahhhhh!

Shirley the Medium can put you in touch with the hereafter, so you all can live — and die — happily ever after.

Muriel

What a wonderful idea! We could hire Shirley! You and your brother can lay your troubles to rest once and for all.

Our differences are settled — he's dead and I ain't.

Muriel

Oh, my. This looks very old. Eustace.

Huh?

Muriel

Come look what Courage found. What do you suppose it could be?

Well, judging by the markings and the obvious age of the relic, I'd have to say it would be...garbage!

Muriel

Eustace!

Garbage! From King Garbage of the Garbage Dynasty. Stupid dog. Always bringing garbage into the house.

Newsman

But the big story today… million-dollar slab stolen from the Tomb of King Ramses.

Huh? I'm rich!

Muriel

But the man said it was stolen, Eustace. We must return it to its rightful place.

He said a million-dollar slab, and that means I get a million dollars. And you know what a million dollars means. That's right! New lawn chairs!