Clerks: The Animated Series · Season 1, Episode 1
“Leonardo Leonardo Returns and Dante Has An Important Decision To Make” · Season 1, Episode 1
In this episode: Dante (5), Randal (4), Leonardo (4), Jay (2), Silent Bob (1)
What were you thinking, Silas?
I-I'm s-sorry, Mr. Dante, but they said you wouldn't care because your expectations for a fair deal have been dulled after years spent at this soul-crushing, less-than-minimum-wage hellhole.
You got me there.
After years abroad and seeing all there is to see in New Jersey; schooled at Eton and Oxford, New Jersey; I am come to stay!
Don't you know?! He has returned!
Uh, oh.... Jesus?
[After Leonardo has just unveiled the newly constructed Leonardo Tower]
I find it hard to believe that no one noticed that either.
It looks like a big bong!
[A small dog walks by]
[pointing at the dog] Hey, that looks like a big bong, too!
For too long, the miserable corner store has been a haven for ludicrous price gouging, and rude, poorly-trained clerks.
You think he's talking about us?
No.
With names like 'Dante', and 'Handel'.
Randal!
Today marks the dawn of a new era. I give you, the people of Leonardo - the future!
[Pulls rope, unveiling another massive building]
[Crowd is silent, except for an isolated cough]
...It's a new convenience store! Quick-ER Stop!...Eh? Yes?
[Crowd begins cheering]
This doesn't bode well for us.
Quicker Stop...I don't get it.
Now that's the ugliest damn bong I've ever seen!
[Dante and Randal walking along a building by rope]
We're almost there.
[A flower pot falls horizontally and breaks]
Why are we walking like this?
[The camera turns revealing they were walking on level ground]
[Dante and Randal talking to Leonardo Leonardo regarding his newly built desk.]
What do you think of my desk? I made it myself. And I have all these pieces left.
It uh…looks great.
It's a piece of crap. It looks like it was built by a Re-Re.
What are you doing?!
Ah hah! It does, doesn't it!
I hope there are no hard feelings, sir.
Well played, clerks. I underestimated you once, but never again. I vow that my vengeance won't be swift or entertaining. I will draw it out over decades in such a subtle fashion that you'll have to wonder whether the misery in your life is either manifest or the machinations of Leonardo Leonardo or . . . a third thing. Good evening.
Hi. I'm Jay.
and I'm Silent Bob.
and I'm Charles Barkley.
What the hell are you doin' here?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Clerks: The Animated Series pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
